Health OCD
Hi everyone,
This is my first post in this group. I am very much hoping that someone can help me. I’ll try to keep it concise.
I have always had extremely bad anxiety about my health (since I was a kid), but then I actually did get diagnosed with 2 separate, serious illnesses at 17 and then again at 27 (I won’t get into the details of those).
Since then, the constant scanning and checking of my body has become horrific and all-consuming. I guess I believe that “the next thing” is right around the corner and by checking and re-checking, I can keep my body safe and catch it this time.
Right now, my most debilitating fear is my pupils being uneven or weird. I am looking and checking in every single mirror, taking photos of them on my phone camera when I can’t find a mirror, shining my flashlight into them in restaurant bathrooms to check reaction, switching the lights off and on, checking them first thing in the morning and barely able to sleep for fear of something happening. I have a clinical psychologist who specializes in OCD so I understand the gist of what I must do to break the loop but I feel as though maybe hearing from a fellow sufferer will finally make things click for me.
Thank you in advance for anybody who takes the time to read and/or reply. This condition is so humbling and debilitating:(