So, my grandmother (F69) and my mother (F41) had an argument that I (F20) witnessed at my grandmother’s house. The argument started because my grandmother was being unreasonable when my mother tried to help her with food for an upcoming holiday next month. [This holiday is a very big deal in our country; many guests come and go, and it is traditional to give them gifts before they leave.]
As they were talking, an argument ensued. I got up and walked into the living room (we had been in the kitchen). While I was in there, they started screaming at each other. I was shocked at first but stayed in the living room, thinking nothing bad would happen. Oh boy, I was wrong. A few minutes passed and I heard something break. Panicked, I rushed to the kitchen and saw a broken glass. When they saw me, my grandmother said, “Sweetie, go to the living room right now,” in a stern tone. I obliged because no one was hurt, but things got even more heated once I left.
After 10 minutes of arguing, I became very concerned. As I walked back toward the kitchen, I heard my mother say, “Bryan touched me all over my body when I was 8 years old, and when I tried to tell you, you didn’t care.” My grandmother replied, “Because you didn’t make any sense, you idiot!”
I froze. My heart stopped right then and there. I couldn’t believe my ears. I started to freak out, thinking about how cruel my Uncle Bryan was and how heartless my grandmother was being to my mother.
(Context: Uncle Bryan (M50) is my grandmother’s nephew. His mother couldn't look after him because she was financially unstable at the time, so she begged my grandmother to raise him, and she agreed.)
They argued for an hour. During that time, I realized how heartless my grandmother has been. She treated our uncle like a prince, while treating my mother like a maid. I hated it so much. Even during the argument, my grandmother acted like the victim, sarcastically saying, “Yeah, you’re right, you’re always right and I’m always wrong.” We left my grandmother’s house shortly after.
I am very disappointed in my grandmother, and I’m not sure if I could look at her the same, I have avoided many family events because my grandma was coming, and I just cannot be around her and look look at her the same, knowing what she said and did to my my own mother was just cruel and heartless. Even after everything, my mother is still telling me to love my grandmother the same because in the end, she is still my grandmother. Sometimes I feel maybe I’m overreacting about not wanting to be around her, but remembering her not feeling a bit of remorse to my mother and not apologizing makes me not want to me around her but i don’t know.