I’m a 17 F who broke up with her bf of 8 months (19 M) 1 month and a half ago but we continued to have sex since then 2 times.
I realized that the only times he would be desperate into seeing me like i was were only bc he wanted to do it, that’s why i told myself i would never accept to lose my dignity like that knowing that he always just complimented me for my body and never personality during the rs.
Well, I can’t go back bc he did me too much wrong and I do not want to feel like a sex toy for the guy that i loved and cherish more than myself.
At the same time I feel like It’s pissing me off to see my friends having sex with hot guys without attachment, knowing that I surely can’t do that otherwise I might feel used. Because I know I’ll always feel dirty after I think, even tho I totally encourage my friends to fk with whoever they want because they don’t have any problem in not getting attached but i’m so emotional all the time and being close like that might make me want to build something, i guess.
I am a bit lost and wanted to know how other people dealt with this « I can’t let go of my ex bc he also was kinda good at sex » even tho i’m sure he is not that good bc I never came but he is my only body and we had the time to learn what each other like, that’s why. I am also scared to never find someone that does the same things we used to love together.
Anyways. I’m lost and scared to be so needy that I might lose my self respect by going back to him.
( This is my first post so idk how that works, be nice lol )