I 21m met a girl last October and i thought she was cool... Over the months of me knowing her i discovered i actually like her more than the just friends we agreed upon in the beginning.
Context. We agreed that none of us would catch feelings and it was easy for her because she likes another guy and i just didn't see myself in a relationship at the time but as we hung out more this feeling grew inside of me.
I would go out of my way and drive an hour just to help her hang up lights. I took her fishing because that's something she always wanted to do and actually never went fishing. We hung out on Valentine's day and i have slept over at her place multiple times and idk i just feel comfortable with her. She made me want to be in a relationship again
Her friends joke about how all the times me and her hang out we are basically going on dates and I've even joked about how it feels like a date but she made it painfully clear she doesn't like me like that
She tells me multiple times how I'm not attractive and how she's not attracted twords me. One day i even told her i think i might like her like that and she was just exited to be right about me falling for her and she's never actually brought it up after that
She's hasn't shown any signs of her caring about me, even as a friend... She says her hanging with me is more then enough to show me she doesn't hate me
She isn't a horrible person don't get me wrong... I mean she's funny, she makes even the most boring hangouts seem fun, she's the most fun person to do nothing with
But clearly she doesn't like me and i fear she doesn't even value me as a person
She says I'm not attractive then she say's i look hot with short hair ( i have long hair now) and when i say I've been thinking about cutting my hair she says no i would look objectively more ugly
This is basically all i can think about now.
Please just help me out here