am I the asshole for not spending time with my mom for Mother’s Day?
so I’ll try to shorten this since I’m only allowed so many words, but basically my mom got super pissed off and mad at me because I want to spend Mother’s Day with her one day and my boyfriends mom another day. my mom felt like I should only spend time with her that weekend since she is my “only mother” but I think it’s important to have a good relationship with my boyfriends mom since she and him are in my life now. she said it was selfish of me to not put her first and spend time with her all weekend and that I was prioritizing my bfs mom over her. she made it seem like it was all about her and I gave her options on things we could do to compromise but she didn’t want to go with any of my ideas on ways to make it work so I could see her and my bfs mom that weekend. It got around eventually to her just not wanting to do anything with me that weekend so I was like ok 🤷🏻♀️ and decided I am just going to see bf and his mom all weekend.
it then ended up turning into a fight about how I don’t see her or spend time with her in general. I see my bf every weekend usually because that’s the only time I have to spend with him (we both work during the week and live 2 hours from each other, my mom lives RIGHT behind me). I told her I’m happy to spend time with her on the weekends but my bf would be included as that’s the only time he has to see me, to which she stated she doesn’t went to see him, just me. I told her she has plenty of opportunities to see me during the week as she lives right behind me and can pop over on her day off or come over even for a few hours in the evening when I get off work. she said she can’t do that because the day she has off she is super busy and the rest of the time she has to get up early for work. my mom usually doesn’t ask me to hang out and I think she kinda expects me to ask her to hang even though I feel it should go both ways. She is also gone every other weekend hanging with my aunt, but what they go out and do I feel is boring so I don’t like going, plus I’m usually with bf anyway. I also am a huge introvert so I usually prefer just chilling at home too so that’s another reason on the weekends I like to just chill with bf at home. Also I don’t usually have money so I can’t afford to actually do anything if I were to go out with family anyway. my mom is very dramatic and over the top which is also another reason I don’t always like hanging with her sometimes (she causes drama a lot and stresses me out, we don’t always have the best relationship). I personally feel like I haven’t done anything wrong and I feel like she has the ability to hang with me on days during the week or hang with me and bf on the weekends but is being a little bit jealous and dramatic about the situation.
am I in the wrong for not being too worried about not spending time with her this weekend if she is going to be difficult?