u/Advanced-Name-9819

I dont know what to do anymore I've been crying for the past hour and I feel terrible. No one ever gives me attention. No friends, I cant even begin to mention romantic one because I feel bad , and no, I dont want it from my parents. im not gonna say why but I cant stand my parents. I dont want to get close to them. I dont want to okay?? everyone keeps saying I have to do that but I dont want to

I've never had any friend that actually wanted to stick to me and actually liked me at all. im so lonely all the time I literally cant even do school work anymore because Im just so miserable im not allowed to go outside or shit like that. man I just want friends. im the freakiest and ugliest human being I've ever seen in my life I understand why nobody would want that. I have the ugliest face ever. I dont look normal. my body sucks. my hair sucks. I have done EVERYTHING in my power up until this point to try to change these because I still had some hope left for myself. I tried absolutely EVERY FUCKING THING FOR MY HAIR ITS THE SAME. dead, harsh to touch, has no shape to it. it makes me look even more fucking ugly and people always laugh at me for it, not only this but half of my body is a bit bigger than the other and so I look fucking disguisting,im also slightly hunched over which makes everything worse, and I cant even start on my face,I feel like doing something really bad to it,I cant stand myself

I somehow managed to get someone to talk to me and kind of be friends? im not sure if they really wanna be,I feel really guilty for them having to see me... we were supposed to hang out today,we talked about this about a week before and just,they told me today that they were busy and couldnt. okay,im not mad,I definetly get it why they wouldnt wanna ,but I just,it makes me feel worse, cause this was my only chance to finally spend a few hours with someone (especially someone my age) and now I cant. and I've got school tomorrow too and there it's hell on earth. I cant. I just dont know what to do.
...

I know this could be kinda personal but I have no idea where else to ask so I figured I'd try here.

I went in to get an OCD diagnosis because I've been speculating that I've been having it for about three years. instead of an ocd diagnosis she recommended this therapy? with a helmet? and also tested me and said theres smth wrong with my brainwaves. I tried really hard to get her to focus on my ocd but she stopped focusing on it(?).

basically what she does is I have to go there once every few days and for thirty minutes she puts this very heavy helmet on my head that has these soft spikes? inside and its supposed to alter my brainwaves back to normal? idfk if its legit but she told me that apparently it is but im not sure...