Has anyone experienced their husband and mother oddly close? As in act as tho they are married?
I’m looking for honest marriage and relationship advice from people who may have experienced something similar. EMOTIONAL INCEST. Also known as COVERT Disorder.
I love my partner deeply, and I know he loves me too. But sometimes I struggle emotionally with the closeness and dependence between him and his mother. I completely understand loving and supporting an aging parent — I respect family loyalty and compassion. This is not about trying to “compete” with his mother.
What hurts is feeling emotionally hidden at times, or feeling like he’s trying to keep both sides emotionally comfortable instead of fully building our relationship openly and independently. Sometimes I feel like boundaries become blurry, and it leaves me feeling lonely, insecure, or secondary in my own relationship. Im in a 3 way marriage and I did not sign up for this. She walks all over me. I set one boundary with her-it was “Do NOT get your groceries delivered to the house after 6 pm” I need to be able to practice setting boundaries with her but my spouse overrides me co signs her “authority” I specifically asked him “Babe please let me know and ask to confirm with me when groceries are delivered to our home” He did not do that he kept saying yes yes yes and then one night they were delivered between 7-10 pm. I let it slide off my back.
I am in recovery ❤️🩹 I got so resentful towards them both and I drank. I don’t have the guts to tell her how I really feel sober so I drank and now it’s a disaster and she wants nothing to do with me.
His father passed away when he was young, and I understand that trauma and family roles can shape people deeply. I truly try to be understanding of that. But I also believe healthy adult relationships need emotional safety, openness, boundaries, and reassurance.
I don’t want resentment to grow. I want healing, understanding, and solutions.
Has anyone successfully worked through enmeshment, guilt, over-dependence, or boundary struggles with parents while trying to protect their marriage or partnership? What helped? Therapy? Communication styles? Boundaries? Patience?
Emotional INCEST as follows
In adulthood, the adult child may:
struggle with guilt
have trouble setting boundaries
feel torn between partner and parent
fear disappointing the parent
become overly responsible for others’ emotions
Romantic partners can sometimes feel:
excluded
emotionally secondary
hidden
unable to fully build an independent relationship