Ive been wanting to vent about my baby shower for weeks. Im just not sure if Im overreacting or not.
For context:
I (24F) and (29M) are expecting our first baby boy soon.
I always like his mom although we are very different people, she takes a lot of space (what you would call over the top) and is over affectionate which him not.
Now unto the story:
As soon as she knew we were expecting she asked to organize the baby shower for me. I don’t have a great relationship with my own mom so i get her stepping in and found it sweet at the time. I told her of course she could help but as a TYPE A person and future event planner i want it to be done my way. Even though it’s not traditional for the mom to organize it, it’s my future career and what i love to do + plus im very picky so it made sense to do it that way.
Well… everything went downhill at the first sit down to organize the event. It was a joint baby shower so dad side will be present and put is input as well into it. Something that was important to me because the gifts benefit both of us.
Anyway, dad and i gave our ideas and the theme of the baby shower which was all taking well by her. Then came hers…
1- An OPEN BAR for a guest list of 50+ people.
2- A catering of a full meal for everyone
We obviously had to shut down these ridiculous ideas. Explained we will have a small buffet, since it’s in the morning/afternoon, and we were open to some mimosas. She wasn’t happy and started to throw a fit but my partner shut that down real quick. To get back at me, little bit later into the conversation, she started judging at my idea of a diaper raffle. Basically saying how dumb it was and i was stupid for doing (It was a success btw).
Then became the decoration issue, the theme was Winnie the Pooh. Something sentimental to me. She started buying stuff without asking me beforehand, such as a lot of teddy bear’s. So now i had to be the bad guy and tell her no after she paid for it because it’s not a Winnie. “But it’s a bear” yeah true so a Rolex is a watch but not all watches are Rolex’s? After that i asked her to always ask first so she doesn’t spend money on stuff we are not going to use.
Well days before the baby shower comes around and me and partner arrive at the venue (Family house) . She told us she decorated days in advance and I thought it was so nice of her. WRONG. As soon as we step in, TEDDY BEARS EVERYWHERE! I never flipped so hard in my life, took everything down and spent hours replacing the decor. She came back from work that night, realized i change everything and refuse to talk or look at us for the rest of the night.
Finally (Yes there’s more im sorry for it to be this long), we are getting the buffet ready. Me, partner, my mom and dad. We wanted to do it ourselves because MIL has a tendency to make to much and throw away half (Christmas and birthdays in the past). I really don’t like for food to go to waste. She came back from work that night, took one look the FEAST and said there wasn’t enough. We emphasized that it was more than enough, plus people knew we weren’t serving a full meal, everything will be fine. That night she ordered more behind her back… When i saw it came through the door i flipped and was now the bad guy for being mad at her because “ she was just trying to help” in her words.
The day of the babyshower, everything was perfect. Everybody came and it was a huge success. A little bit over the top since we were more than 100 but that’s just how we are me and my partner. Most of the food got eaten (only leftovers was stuff she bought in extra). And we got more than 2000$ worth of diaper with the raffle, all different size since i thought of a way to go about it.
Lastly, we are now a couple of weeks later and I’ve had some great feedback from people present about the food, decorations and one more… How MIL is a superwoman to have done it all by itself! So she went around at the baby shower to tell people it was all her doing (Theme, food, decor etc) Obviously she did a lot and I believe in giving credit to people but to single out.
My mom for the cake and dessert table.
My dad that paid and help for the buffet.
SIL with decoration
Plus my partner and I with basically bits of everything
It’s just plain rude…
Anyway, that is me venting and wanting insight of others, i feel that others perspectives could help me deal with all this in the future. There is more but unrelated to the baby shower. Might do another post in the future, who knows?