u/Adultingexpert

I'm struggling with how to present myself in the world. I'm 31(F) and I work in healthcare. I've been told multiple times since I work in healthcare that I've given up my right to not be touched. I am constantly being touched by patients and coworkers. They pat my back and my shoulders. They run their hands up and down my arms. I have severe PTSD and I'm on the spectrum. Being touched by strangers feels like I'm being slashed by a knife. My boundaries are constantly being tested or blatantly ignored. I job hop constantly when it gets to be too much. When I self advocate, they retaliate and make the place hostile. I get watched and written up for every minor error in order to fire me or make me miserable enough to quit. I'm constantly seeing violations of not only my rights but patient rights as well. I get harassed in public unless my partner is with me. I get harassed at work. What am I doing that invites constant attention and physical touch? I'm so tired of being ignored and talked over. I don't want to be nasty and I'm soft spoken. I just want to exist, do my job, get my groceries, go to a restaurant and go home without someone following me to my car or trying to touch me. Even my own family doesn't respect my decision to not be touched. I've also noticed that when I try to maintain a boundary, I'm met with violence and rage. Am I being unreasonable for not wanting physical contact with strangers? How do I maintain boundaries while also staying safe?