u/Adriaann__

I am 15 years old. I've been struggling with a lot of stuff since like September of 2025. First I wanted to have a religion and my parents were strictly against it saying stuff like get out of the house we don't need a son like you you disgrace and all of that stuff. I got used to it so it's not a big deal anymore. Then I have a lot of stress at school and my parents just don't believe it. It's the typical "I am an adult I am always right always listen to me" stuff. My father always wants me to help him with stuff that basically takes the whole day after school. I can't do that I have my own life (I used to go to gym 5x a week). Then I got a girlfriend who I really really love and never want to lose, even tho I know that maybe its not the right time for me to have a gf now. I really love everything about her except that she doesnt know what to do when I tell her about my problems. I mean it is not her fault, no one taught her but I really need someone I can share my thoughts with. She can tell me everything but she never knows how to act when I want to tell her about my problems. I started sh in november last year and there was a point where it was really bad. I can't wear long sleeves because no one knows about this. I could never tell my parents because they don't know about any struggles of me. I never learned to share my emotions. I mean I can't even cry no matter what. I really want to sometimes but I just cant I hate that. I started taking a lot of pain pills I even tried to kill myself 2 times by taking more than double the healthy dose of paracetamol. Still no one knows about this I just acted like I had a normal stomach ache. I really have no idea why no one notices. I haven't been sleeping normally since september. I sleep maximum 4 hours a day and it really destroys me. I dont know who to talk to and what to do. It's getting hot now and I only have like 2 thin long sleeves. I always wear a long sleeve shirt and then a normal t shirt on top but I only have 2. I used to wear hoodies but it is way too hot even for the long sleeves. Every single day I think about just getting in an accident so I dont have to go to school. I really don't know what to do. Does anyone have advice?