Reconsidering my engagement.
Hello Reddit! This is my first time ever posting on this corner of the internet, but I've found consulation and sound advice for years on here. I will try to summarize my situation as best as possible :)
I (19F) am currently engaged to my fiance (23M). We met online and through gaming May 2023, and started dating a week after so it's been about three years yay! I am from USA and he is from UK. We have been engaged since February 2025, our second time getting together irl.
I truly love him because we have alot in common. He loves psychology, philosophy, books, masculinity, games, health + fitness etc. He has the same sense of humor as me, view on God, and very similar personality + core values. We have grown close and love being together. One in a million right?
It hasn't been easy with immigration, yet we get along quite well. But, I've came to the conclusion that we may not last well as a married couple.
This all began last week when he was getting interviewed for his US marriage visa. It got refused because my financial sponsorship isn't strong enough (I've only worked at my current well-paying job for a little over a year).
...Even though I get over arguments quickly and understand he can react emotionally sometimes, he displayed impatience to a concerning degree like posing the idea of ending this process altogether. I know he apologized after but what if he really meant this?
This really made me reconsider things... I moved out of my family's home October 2025 when they disapproved of our marriage. Then became estranged for 3 months until reaching out to them. My parents really love me and want me to be in the care of the right man, but they don't like the fact that we are "unequally yoked" with who takes responsibility and who doesn't. I think I'm finally understanding what they mean. Because...
...My fiance has shown little to no effort in trying to resolve things with my parents or family which hurts my day to day life. I got to stay with him for two weeks recently, we've met up a few times before, but this time I truly saw how he was in his day to day life. He just seems unmotivated and bedridden, since gave up his job in England etc to start life with me in USA. I've given him plenty of ideas on things he can do while we've waited like community service, selling things etc.
What should I do Reddit? Is it over? I am prepared for the worst but I just want to know if this is a good time to pose this question to him. It's a heavy thing to ask but this will change my course of life forever.