i didn't find anyone in my case yet.
4 years ago i was in a relationship with a girl who i thought to be the love of my life. Everything was perfect until i started to take that her as granted. All the things i should be doing, i stopped it, i stopped putting the effort in the relationship, by that i mean taking care of her. It was just sex, dates.
At some point, i went too far and ended up hurting her, I lost her trust. I became the man i hated. Even after the no contact i was spamming her with messages because i'm just an idiot.
I know it's all my fault, i was the bad guy in the story. All she wanted is my love and i couldn't do that.
I still miss her and feel guilty for everything that ever happened.
How do you forgive yourself ? Or am i even allowed to ? Do i have to hate myself my entire life ?