Help! I need advice
I need honest outside opinions on a friendship situation because I feel like I’m going crazy trying to figure out if I’m the problem or not.
I met this girl at the beginning of the university year (we’re both in medicine). At first, I didn’t feel like our personalities matched much—she talks a lot about herself and often says things like every guy is staring at her or likes her, which honestly doesn’t seem true. But I didn’t mind in the beginning because I didn’t have other friends in my major yet.
Over time, we got closer. She can be really fun, funny, and thoughtful (for example, she planned a birthday surprise for me even though it was our first year being friends). So it’s not all bad.
But there are things that keep happening that are really starting to bother me:
She randomly switches moods out of nowhere. Like we’d be completely fine, then suddenly she goes quiet, walks away, stops talking, and acts cold with no explanation.
Instead of addressing issues directly, she says indirect things that feel like shade. For example, recently she said something like “I decided I’m not giving anyone chances anymore… even if it’s my closest friend” while we were sitting together, which felt very targeted but not said directly to me.
She once texted me out of nowhere saying she “can’t be my friend anymore” because I don’t trust her. This was triggered by something really small—I had removed my Instagram highlights (because of Ramadan and the music on them), and she interpreted that as me hiding something from her. When I questioned it, she said she was “just kidding,” but it didn’t feel like a joke at all.
She seems to build ideas in her head without actually talking to me, then acts based on that.
On my side:
I’ve helped her a lot (academically and socially, since she came as an international student and didn’t know many people)
I usually go along with her stories and don’t confront her just to keep things peaceful
The biggest issue is how I feel after spending time with her:
I feel drained, tense, and like I have to analyze everything she said or did. It doesn’t feel relaxed or safe.
At the same time, I still have several years left in this major, and she’s currently in my group for a project with other medicine students, so I don’t want to create drama or make things awkward long-term.
So I’m genuinely asking:
Am I overreacting or is this behavior actually unhealthy?
Is this something worth addressing directly, or is it better to just distance myself quietly?
Has anyone dealt with someone like this before?