No judgement zone, I need to say this somewhere because I am spiralling and abit drunk. I (26/W ) have been dating my boyfriend (28/M) for almost 7 years (we met in college). I found he cheated on me (again) and I don't know if I can continue in the relationship. He claims nothing physical happened but their texts show atleast one date where they met up. He claims it was just a brief date and a conversation about something he was struggling with that she also had also been through but I don't believe him. I have forgiven him before for some stuff, 2 other 'emotional' incidents to be accurate , we were both still young. He got caught (seemingly just texts /emotional cheating) and I forgave him him since I had a few unfinished conversations in the early stages too but I never got caught.
Anyway recently we have been talking about moving in together, he lives in a different state. We met in my state but he lives in a different state now. He came to see me and I found out mid trip about his emotional cheating. It was honestly a pure accident I wanted photos he had sent me and he had used a specific term of endearment so I searched that in his messaging app, and low and behold he had called her that and that's how I found out. Think of a generic term but slightly specific term like 'sweetheart'. I was really shocked, he is a great partner overall, attentive and kind man. I would would not have guessed differently. But I can't help but wonder if the early indiscretions were early warning signs I missed.
He takes full responsibility for the cheating but I can't help but think he will do it again and it's easier to walk away now before any marriage or any children are involved. Would it be dumb to try again or should I walk away ?