A few months ago, the clinic I (20s F) was treated at for a few months decided they were no longer willing to treat me due to the severity of my case, citing a suicide attempt from 7 years ago as the main reason. There were other complications along the way, I was left untreated for a month waiting to be told about their decision, and was informed through a third party, even though I met all the conditions the clinic set for me for continuing treatment.
I felt abandoned and misled, I wanted to get some clarity/closure so I requested my case files. After receiving them, I felt disappointed - the way the therapist described me in his summaries of each meeting, it didn't sit right with me.
I don't recognize the helpless, miserable little girl he described. Yes, I've suffered from clinical depression for many years, and yes sometimes I let people treat me badly because I don't have the energy to stand up for myself, but that's not what defines who I am.
He never mentioned anywhere in his summaries that despite everything I'd been through in my teen years - 2 psychiatric hospitalizations, a suicide attempt, several depressive episodes - I was now a fully functioning adult. I graduated high school, got my drivers license, started working, and I'm now in university, on track to become an engineer by the age of 25. I'm doing so many things that I never thought I'd ever be able to achieve.
He only focused on the worst things about me, my low self esteem, my anxieties, etc. I know therapy is mostly about the negative aspects that need addressing/helping, but I still feel that neglecting to mention my resilience throughout all of it paints a partial picture of the situation. The way he wrote about me makes it seem like I'm nothing but my insecurities and depression, and I feel that's not all I am.
It also makes me feel like no matter how much time has passed, how much better I get, or how hard I work to improve, people will always define me based on the things I did when I was younger, and my mental health struggles. This especially ties in with their reasoning of ending treatment being something I did 7 years before I even started treatment at the clinic. Makes me feel like my mistakes will follow me for the rest of my life, like there's no expiration date on them.
I'm just a person who had some bad experiences at a young age, but is trying to move on from them and live a normal life as an adult. I feel that his summaries told an entirely different story.
Has anyone else experienced something similar? Are casefiles only meant to reflect the problems a person is having?
[Also, I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, or if this is too long]