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I (25f) have been dating my boyfriend (23m) for 2 months and lately we have had fights every week.
During the last fight we had we almost broke up but we decided to give it another chance. The fight was about something very small, we were looking at stuff in a shop and I found a doll I had been telling him I wanted for a while, but he wasn't paying attention to me and didn't recognize the doll I was showing him (it's important to me because I'm a collector and i had shown him pictures of that one quite a few times), which made me a bit sad and I made the mistake of telling him that sometimes I feel he doesnt listen to me. I didn't think it was going to be a big issue but he got quite offended saying he always tried his hardest to listen to me and understand my interests, even going as far as buying me what he thought was my dream doll for my birthday (he got me the wrong one). During the argument he kept telling me to talk to him and not be a child but every time I tried to do it he interrupted me and said it wasnt a real problem and that I was escalating it too much, when I was honestly keeping calm and telling him that I knew it wasn't a serious problem and that I was just hoping we could talk about it. We argued for a long time and it was a loop of him asking me to talk to him and him interrupting me, calling me childish or laughing at my face when I told him my feelings about the situation, even at some point he turned around when we were talking and left (he came back to my side when he realized I was going home anyway instead of going after him).
Anyway, I talked to him very calmly and explained that I feel sorry for not seeing his effort, but i feel hurt that he couldn't see my hurt for not feeling heard a reality, because for him the only reality is that he supposedly makes efforts and I dont appreciate them, instead of wondering if he's actually making me feel heard.
No matter how calmly I talked he always spoken harshly to me and whenever I raised my voice a little or got desperate for him to understand me he said i was being condescending, when I geniunely think it was actually him being the condescending one.
This has made me realize that he's an hypocrite. Some days ago, when I was on the verge of having a panic attack in a really crowded place when he was chilling looking at books for hours he told me I couldnt be like that and that I had to laugh it off but two days ago we were running between two restaurants for about 30 minutes because none of them opened despite Google saying they were open, and he was complaining all the time. i told him the situation was goofy and he should laugh it off, to which he said "there's nothing to laugh about". We went to the other side of the city to eat and he complained the whole way, despite him usually complaining about *me* complaining a lot about anything. I also had to cancel a family gathering with him when he was the one who brought up going with me to meet them because he was shy about it, but the second I had a bad day and said I didn't want to go see his best friend with him (it's didnt even agree to do it in the first place, it was his own plan that he didn't tell me about) he got super mad and said if you plan something you cant just cancel it, you have to do it no matter how you feel about it. There's more examples of him doing stuff that he'd get mad at me if I was the one doing it.
I'm actually going crazy because it's making me walk on eggshells and making me scared of sharing any of my feelings with him because he will say I'm hurting him. I really think he's a good person, but i dont know how to bring this up without causing another problem and I wouldn't want to break up with him and regret it, because he's also quite romantic and a unique person, so i dont know what to do
TL;DR: i feel my boyfriend does things that he'd get mad at me if i was the one doing them, and i can't talk about my feelings with him without him getting upset and defensive