AIO for feeling weird that my husband planned something "for us" but it was clearly for him
Okay I'm sitting in my car in the King Soopers parking lot because I needed five minutes before I go back inside and pretend everything is fine. I don't even need anything from the store. I just drove here.
So. Background. I've been home with our kids for almost six years. I'm starting to look for work again just part-time, maybe something in project coordination, which is what I did before. It's been... a lot. Emotionally. Figuring out who I am outside of being "mom." My husband knows this. We've talked about it a ton.
Last weekend he planned a "date night for us" which tbh I was genuinely touched by because he doesn't usually initiate that stuff. Got a sitter, made a reservation, the whole thing. Except when we got there it turned out to be dinner with two of his work friends and their wives. People I've met maybe twice. He just... didn't mention that part.
And here's where I can't figure out if I'm overreacting. I actually had a nice time? Like the people were fine, the food was good (I got the short rib and it was legitimately the best thing I've eaten in months, that detail feels important for some reason). But the whole drive home I felt this weird hollow feeling I couldn't shake.
He keeps saying he thought I'd love it, that getting out and being social would be "good for me" since I've been so in my head lately. And maybe he's not wrong? I do get isolated. But it also feels like he decided what I needed without asking me. And what I actually needed was just... him. Us. Talking about something other than the kids and whether I'm "ready" to go back to work.
The thing that's bugging me most is that I'm not even sure if I'm upset about what happened or just upset in general and this is where it landed. Both things feel true somehow.
He's not a bad guy. He thought he was doing something nice. I know that. But I also feel like I've been quietly disappearing for a while and this was supposed to be the night someone noticed and instead I just made small talk about a kitchen renovation for two hours.
Idk. Maybe I'm being unfair. Maybe I'm not. That's why I'm posting I guess. Should I even bring it up or will I just sound ungrateful...