u/Admirable_Garbage239

My ex is black mailing me with a video he took of me without my knowledge as I suck his d
▲ 15 r/KenyanLadies+1 crossposts

Mothers day and forgiving your parents

Am indeed jealous of people who can hug their mothers and stay with them for over 30 mins in one room. I know that long before I and my brother was born my mother was a happy woman, or so I hope. Falling in love young with my father who was a dead beat (Mom supported his career and he walked out, literally he ghosted b4 ghosting was a thing). My mom when I knew her she was this hot and cold person. I think now it is called bipolar. Small things would lead to hours of degrading insult. I never felt comfortable with her. When she was good she was good, i never lacked anything I asked for even stupid shit, I didn't need. She worked hard, gave me a good education, and kept me on my toes. But my home was always troublesome. I would spend hours crying from age 18 to age 20 when she would just insult me so bad I felt useless. Am a little ashamed to say this but I thought of ways to get rid off her as young as 13, but It was just a thought. It is hard to love or hate your mother when she is your support and also the same person who brings you down. She would record herself insulting me or beating my ass, or threating to stab me ( NILIKUWA NIMESHIKWA NA BANGI) and share to the family members.
I am rebellious so I understand that sometimes some was necessary, but the extent was crazy. Like orget to put a lid on something, I would end uo being called a prostitue. Saying I want to move out would end up with her saying kill yourself. I cried so much that I finally stopped feeling. At 21 i never fought back and started avoiding her. Worst part is she supported me moving and everything but everytime am around her am anxious and everything. I dont want her to visit me,I vist my aunt more than I visit her, I cannot hold a conversation with her. She says she loves me and I cannot say it back. I can go months without talking to her. And I feel bad, but I just know I have to fake it. I dont know if am too harsh or too unforgiving but I try and try but I cannot love her. I get scared everytime I have to see or talk to her. My brother thinks am dramatic, but my soul just refuses. I cannot feel love towards her and I feel more comfortable around every other relative but her. I hate seeing her in my proximity. I feel weird. Last time I saw her was 2023.
Now she is religious and am very much not. She will ask me to go to church etc. Yes I have confronted her, at first she said sorry but latter she recanted and said well I pretty much deserved it for my behavior.
How do you move on and love your parents?

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u/Admirable_Garbage239 — 4 days ago

IDK who told men it is their God given right to harass women randomly. Today morning am dressed neatly for work, I opted for a short dress mid thigh with black out tights and boots, simple classy and edgy office look. So am walking to stage listening to the latest Jule's podcast so am invested. I see these two men running like jogging saying malaya, so I thought they were insulting each other. Not until one come straight up to my face and calls me an office malaya, am shocked because he was running shouting, ona malaya wa offisi. I did not react because I thought he is a drunk loser with nothing better to do. Until his friend running behind him comes up to me still running jogging type, na nivijana gen z, he says wachana na huyu anaenda tao kuuza kuma 200. Bro am shocked coz tf am just walking, hadn't said anything to these men. Then they pass me running laughing at me and calling me malaya. Watu stage wanawangalia zile za are these people normal. My face sinanga poker face, so it was a mix of disgust and shock. Anyway one dumb creature is understandable, but two dumb creatures sober going to work and taking their sweet time to insult me is just a disgrace to men. I don't know if they insulted other ladies. But the lady in front of me also had a disgusted look on her face so I guess walianza na yeye.

https://preview.redd.it/jueb5k6ooazg1.jpg?width=2296&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0955f2933d673d540d04b31b74754e8b58c73c1d

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u/Admirable_Garbage239 — 10 days ago

IDK if he was stressed or smth but that to me I just felt ish ish. He doesn't drink as much (actual I drink more and am not a drinker) so i dont understand why. For me this caught me off guard, coz am more of a home body esp at my age. I only found out coz he came over drunk and was talking way more than usual.
Is it normal behavior? Do guys go to drink alone? Why?

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u/Admirable_Garbage239 — 11 days ago

I dont know wheter it is a gen z thing but I feel that situation ships work instead of strings of relationships. However most millenia ladies (love these ladies and their opinions too) I work with say that people in situation ship have not healed or like you will want to get love. Or it is because the man is not officiating it. And that couldn't be far from the truth, because personally I have found comfort in my situation ship. I feel free no ties but I still know who to call when feeling bad.

Plus for me unless you are planning to marry the person why not just crack without the feelings. Because it will hurt more. I see situation ships as an opportunity to enjoy protected sex on a regular basis and no strings tied you can go on dates chat with other guys without feeling guilty. I aint tripping over no nigga wondering if he is sleeping around because I down own just rent for a ride once in a while. Also i think it builds character like you learn how to detach from men, like you don't feel like you lost the power to him after cracking. It is a detachment tool. It is also a way to continue seeing men with good dick game and low commitment without always chasing

Anyway are you pro situationships or anti

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u/Admirable_Garbage239 — 15 days ago