TIFU by getting involved in a discussion with a they/them
I was at this drinks event at my university and a guy walked up to me. He had long hair and was dressed in a bright pink shirt, which honestly looks absolutely hideous on him. He stretched out his hand to shake mine, which I felt was awkwardly formal for the event that we are at.
I asked him for his name, and he told me he was Melissa, which really got me quite taken aback, as he clearly looks like a guy. He then shared that his pronouns were they/them. That did not make any sense to me at all.
I straight up asked him why he gave himself a female name, if his pronouns were they/them. Then, he said that being gender neutral does not mean he can't adopt a female name. So I was like ok.... but for you to actively choose a female name, means you identify more as a woman, than a man right... and then he stared at me blankly and said no. I was like ok continue... and he said no there's nothing else to say.
I then stupidly decided to probe further and asked him why he gave himself the name Melissa then. He told me that's cos he feels like a Melissa. Then, I got even more confused and I was like ok, if you feel like a Melissa, are you not gender neutral then? then, he was like no that's not how it works in his sassy voice
Just as I was about to walk away, I stupidly decided to turn back and asked him whether he was biologically male. he then got super offended and told me that is completely irrelevant and I need not ask that. I found his tone really rude so I told him that's a perfectly normal question, and I was just curious. I went further and told me he had no need to speak to me in that manner, and being biologically male is a fact he can never run away from. Then, he started calling me a bigot really loudly, and quite a few people turned to look at me.
I was embarrassed by this guy totally. I should not have bothered talking to him in the first place.
TL;DR I was called out by a they/them person for being rude and offensive to him, when I had no intention of doing so. I asked him a few simple questions and he got so riled up for nothing