u/AdhesivenessClear805

I started out doing exos really when i was 15 and then once i learned i was doing meth based ones i said fuck it and started doing meth for like 2 years then one day i decided to get sober i ran away from the crack house i was living at and went to a friends moms she helped me and i started working then i became a drug dealer lol small town not good jobs got arrested and got out moved like an hour away started working and doing good but one day im on a job site and new guys tweaking and offered me coke now i been doing it like 6 months but it kinda helps me work and get shit done lol im conflicted about it i feel id do better off it but i cant just stay up all the time to work and go do my mobile mechanic stuff, it also bout tore apart my last relationship bc i get like super horny on coke started fucking like 3 bitches and she found out, other than that its just work and benders now idk how to feel about it 😭 tweaking rn but the last week i just feel like its time to grow up, im almost 20 now with my own place but its holding me back from working in the plants with my buddy who offered to get me in i just have to be clean. I just dont know if i can do it any thoughts if you actually read all this?