AITA For wanting to go on a girls trip?
AITA for thinking it’s okay to go on girls trips while in a relationship?
My boyfriend (21M) and I (22F) had a serious talk last night after I reposted something saying it’s okay to go on girls trips while in a relationship as long as you’re respectful to your partner and your relationship.
For context, we’ve been dating for almost 2 years. We honestly don’t argue much and usually work through problems pretty well, which is why this whole conversation kind of shocked me.
I thought we were both on the same page about our future. We’ve talked before about wanting to get married younger, but not super soon since we’re both still in school. I always imagined getting married around 25 after we were more financially stable and established.
After I reposted that video, he started talking about how he doesn’t really believe people in serious relationships should be going on girls trips or guys trips without their partner because it can “open doors” to disrespect or bad situations. I disagreed and said I think people should still be able to have independence, friendships, and trips as long as boundaries are respected and nothing shady is happening.
I also explained that I wasn’t even talking about constantly going on wild trips forever. My mindset was more that while we’re young and our friends are still single, occasional girls trips are normal, and eventually once everyone settles into relationships more, it would naturally turn into more couples trips and group vacations together anyway.
The conversation got way more serious when we realized our boundaries around relationships might be very different. At one point, I basically told him that if our values and expectations were truly that incompatible, then maybe we shouldn’t stay together because I don’t want either of us forcing the other person into a relationship structure they don’t agree with.
After that, he suddenly became more okay with the idea of girls trips, but honestly it didn’t feel genuine to me. When I asked him if he actually changed his opinion or if he was only backing down because he didn’t want me to leave him, he admitted it was because he didn’t want to lose me.
Now I don’t know how to feel because part of me appreciates that he cares enough to try to compromise, but another part of me feels weird knowing his actual beliefs didn’t really change and he only “gave in” out of fear of the relationship ending.
AITA for thinking girls trips are okay in a committed relationship and for questioning things after this conversation?