So basically, I got married 8 months back and it wasn't a typical arranged marriage. We met online but my family wasn't ready to get me married to him as they thought I could find someone better (in terms of me being a complete social butterfly and my husband being an introvert, so they thought we can't adjust), somehow my husband (then boyfriend), convinced my parents and did a lot of stuff for me and my parents finally gave in as I was happy with him.
Time passed and we got engaged officially with the blessings of the both the families. There was stil time to our marriage. (9-10 months), we lost his father a few months before our marriage to a prolonged illness. I was really attached to his entire family so me and my family helped and supported his family during those tough times like a rock solid support system. It took a toll on him financially as well because of the hospital bills and I helped in whatever way I could.
We would have arguments in general since we started dating as we are different people and I'm an anxious person and he is an avoidant one. But we would still somehow find our way through it. A few months after his dad passed away, I found him using a fake instagram id to stalk women who post revealing stuff, and he had also subscribed to those accounts. When I confronted him, he tried to shoo it sway and just save his image. He later told me he wasn't realy chatting and just stalking to them. My gut told me to break off the marriage (we were two months away from the marriage), but I was so blinded in love that I didn't break it, thinking all men stalk women.
During that time he told me, he was texting random men online and those chats were just to befriend guys as he didnt hve a huge friend circle. It didnt sit right with me but I didnt want to be harsh on him as he had lost his father.
Cut to our post marriage era, it was a disaster, every effort he had made to marry me, to convince my dad, felt like a mask, he stopped taking care of me, stopped giving me love and affection, and even stopped having sex with me. Whenever I'd demand intimacy, he'd name it as too much work and ask me to satisfy myself using my vibrator. And it wasn't a once or twice thing, it happened almost everyday, putting me in deep self doubt.
Our fights started increasing and when we'd fight a lot, he'd ask to leave his house and go back to my dad's house, sometimes at midnight (it was just him me and his mom at his house), he sent me back home many tomes when we fought, and then would come with his family to apologise and take me back. My family obliged twice and even adviced me to control my temper.
When I went back the second time, I found his late father's phone in our bedroom and I went through it (as I already had a doubt about his loyalty), apparently, he was still stalking women when he had promised he wont do it. And to my surprise, he was using his father's phone to chat with men. And they weren't normal chats, they were sexual and vulgar, talking about extreme level kinks, on top of it, he wasn't talking to them with his real identity, but pretending to be a woman and befooling them (he was using women's photos from Instagram to make men believe he was a woman), and talking to them extremely vulgar.
I thought since it was from before we got married, i should try to save my home, i kept quiet.
A month later we fought again and he asked me to leave, this time directly threatening divorce. I made sure I click those screenshots before I left.
Whenever we fought and I would get angry, he would record me shouting or yelling at him. I know I should have controlled my temper but he had lied to me about stuff before marriage and i was frustrated when i found the reality after the marriage. He was even in debt but he didnt tell me.
Now we are ongoing a divorce and he says he loves me and wont ever repeat these things which hurt me.
Everyone in my family thinks i should leave him, he apparently hid his sexuality from me as he also denied sex a lot of times.
I dont know what to do.