Morbidly funny moment today
My wife & I have been working on our sex life since June of last year (We're both 43 years old). We've been in a sexless marriage situation since our kid was born (they turn 8 in the summer) but haven't really worked on things until recently. Things started great, but as you can guess, they've been slowly sliding back to the status quo.
My wife recently apologized for not being in the mood much "lately" (par for the course, so not sure why she'd apologize like it's an anomaly), so we agreed to try scheduling it for every Friday. We both work from home so sex happens during work hours. She has zero desire for sex when our kid is here so weeknights & weekends are a no-go. Well, my wife completely forgot our kid had a day off this Friday (which is funny because she's usually very aware of these events), so she said "why not Wednesday?" As expected, Wednesday didn't happen, so we agreed to today. I was skeptical because she had not been feeling great this week (always a pre-cursor to zero intimacy happening), but I stayed positive, didn't act annoyed or anything, and continued to be loving, caring, affectionate, etc.
Also - our kid has a half-day today so we can only get the "deed" done before noon. So we have a 4-hour window. My wife sauntered up to my office door this morning around 9:30am and said the following:
"I know this isn't romantic or anything but I've got a lot to do today, so I can pencil you in right now for a couple of minutes if you want."
She was also leaning on the door-jam to my office like she was half-asleep and completely uninterested in anything whatsoever.
I just sat there for a beat, chuckled, and told her "nah, that's okay."
She then went on to complain about yet another thing in her day and then left with "these are the pitfalls of our lives, unfortunately" as if to say that it was divine intervention that stopped intimacy from happening this week, instead of, you know, her.
But hey, next Friday our kid has school, so it'll definitely happen, right? She'll be so ready & in the mood, she might even want to have sex sooner! That's a thing that happens to people who don't ever really prioritize sex, right???
At this point all I can do is just laugh at the reality that a couple minute-quickies whenever she deems it appropriate is the best we can do, but it definitely has nothing to do with me, it's all her and I shouldn't feel bad about it.
And anyone who believes that nonsense is fooling themselves. Marriages don't happen in a vacuum and what you do or don't do affects your partner whether you want it to or not.