I (f, 35) and my friend Anna (f,33) are both disabled. I am born disabled and she is disabled after accident. We both have mobility problem but I’ve had disability my whole life so I get around easily but she is still learning how. I don’t have trauma related to disability, it’s just how I was born but she had awful accident and it left her traumatised for a long time. So I think her disability is harder than mine. She‘s lucky though that she comes from rich family. Her parents has lots of money and she has no brothers or sisters. She live in a house they own and they pay her bills because she can’t work. I have a big family and parents help when they can but not like hers. I have a good job but not rich.
Since her accident I tried to help with things like government benefits and hiring carers. In my country it’s not easy to get help so I want make it easy for her. She has a carer now.
This year she tells me she is going to event in capital city and do I want come, she say she can get me discount. I say yes, it sounds fun. The event is 3 day and there is a celebrity there I want to meet. I live close to capital, 30 minute on train.
After I agree to go she tells because of disability she needs to go earlier and stay extra night and do I mind split cost. I tell her I cant afford hotel but she can stay with me. It’s just 30 minutes away. she says she need to be close to event and can’t travel each day. I understand and say I’ll meet her there each day.
Then she tells me she needs me to stay in hotel with her and split cost otherwise she can’t afford hotel. She also says she can’t get train on her own because she never got train on her own since accident and she need me to come to meet her. She lives two hours away. I tell her I can’t afford hotel and if I travel two hours to her town and then 2.5 hours back to capital, I won’t be able to go to event because I will have fatigue, it’s part of both disabilities so I think she will understand.
she respond and tell me I can’t have discount because reason for discount is she get free carer place and is taking me as her carer. I tell her I can’t be carer, I have disability too. She says all she needs is her carer to go with on train and she won’t need care at event. She says she wont be able to go now because I let down.
I feel bad after because she can’t go but now I feel angry. She did not ask me to be carer, she offer discount ticket. My brothers says she’s using me and if I going on her free carer ticket as carer why she asking me to pay? We’ve not speak since but on facebook she post to say she can’t go to event because her carer has vacation and none friends will go. Lots of comment from people say she need better friends.
AITA?
Edit: thank you to everyone who comments. I want to answer some comment. my friend parents let her live in house for free and pay all bills and for extra carer time (government pays for some hours and parents pay extra so she has someone all the time). She pays for own food and any hobby or activity from money she get from government. She says she does not like to ask extra from them and I understand that, it is hard rely on parent when adult.
Since I post here one person comment on her Facebook to say they give her lot of notice could not come with her so I think I am not first person she asked.
I am thinking I still go to see celebrity. There is ticket for day i can afford so I still get to go