u/Additional_Load_5961

there were 2 practices left till our final game. its a big game since we’d be across the state and in a hotel,BUT my coach on the second to last practice tells me an outside(left handed but i dont think its important, i used to play rightside before this season) and she tells me to play middle.

dont get me wrong, im all for learning new positions but WE HAVE TWO PRACTICES LEFT! she brings over a girl from like 2 divisions up, to fill my spot.

we have a VERY small team, 7 players, so the club wanted to give us a backup.

anyways, this girl is amazing she hits hard, shes what you would expect from someone 15 playing in 17u.

and i want to be happy but i felt terrible because i couldnt play middle well,i felt terrible in my ability,i understand the position but i just couldnt play well, the coach asked if i was comfertable with the arrangement and i said id push through.

SOOO… i went home and cried and beat myself up for not learning a new position in literally a day.and i want to be awsome like her i want to work even harder but i hate myself and i can only feel envy.

i asked the club that night if she could leave because it was ridiculous to do that right before our biggest tournament and they said yes.

i felt terrible but when the coach told the team, she didnt rat me out but implied that someone and their parent had complained and everyone else was sad because they liked her. and one of my good friends said whoever asked for that girl to leave was jealous. and even if they werent that hurt

i felt like i was gonna breakdown right then and there. i felt absolutely awful and selfish.

i had a breakdown in the bathroom and now i have to go i to that tournament feeling like the scum of the earth because i couldnt keep my emotions in check for the sake if the team.

im not nessesarily asking for validation, its kinda js a rant since i dont want to burden my family of friends

I play club, its been 2 years now,so compared to some people i havent had a lot of time to hone. Either way im the best on my team

i dont feel accomplished.

when i practice i get really critical, easy practice dosent satisfy me and hard practice there never seems to be enough time.

i want to keep going and going until i cant keep going. and the coaches will always try to be nice and say shit like "no, thats good."

no it isnt.

but then we have to move on and i feel like shit. God forbid i go a whole practice session like that and i want to pull my hair out. Or the coach takes too long talking ad all i can think is "can we just do it? Hurry up!"

I think im pretty good generally speaking but nothing seems good enough, and teammates coaches my parents all say im doing well and i just cant find myself believing it.

im still in highschool and i jave a lot of time before i need to apply for college or anything and was wondering about trades

after a quick google search i thought electrician or hvac sounded cool but i wanted to know more about the proccess and apprenticeship. especially the experience for women in the field since id be going into peoples houses.

how expensive is schooling and apprenticeship?

whats the industry like?

whats the pay look like?

im aware of the crawling in peoples attics part but is there anything standout difficult about the job?

im still in highschool and i jave a lot of time before i need to apply for college or anything and was wondering about trades

after a quick google search i thought electrician or hvac sounded cool but i wanted to know more about the proccess and apprenticeship. especially the experience for women in the field since id be going into peoples houses.

how expensive is schooling and apprenticeship?

whats the industry like?

whats the pay look like?

im aware of the crawling in peoples attics part but is there anything standout difficult about the job?