I’ve been talking to this guy for a while now and we got pretty close, like texting every day, long calls, all that. He’s been really sweet and attentive, maybe even a little intense at times, but overall I thought he was a really good guy.
From the very first conversation we had, I asked what he did for work and he told me he was a teacher. After that he would casually mention stuff like things that happened with students, helping kids, just normal day-to-day things that made it seem completely real. So I never questioned it.
Lately I started getting a weird feeling and asked him again about work. At first he kind of dodged the question and got emotional, like saying stuff that made it seem like I didn’t like him just for asking. I kept pushing because it didn’t feel right, and he finally admitted he’s not a teacher at all. He said he’s actually unemployed right now and lives with his parents, and that he lied because he was ashamed and didn’t think we’d end up talking this long or getting close.
Now I just feel really thrown off. It’s not even his situation that bothers me, it’s the fact that he lied from the start and kept it going for so long, even making up specific things to make it believable. And he only told the truth because I kept pushing.
When he admitted it, he got really self deprecating and kept saying things like I was going to hate him and that he’s the worst, which honestly just made the whole thing feel more overwhelming.
At the same time, he has been really caring and clearly got attached to me, so I feel kind of conflicted. Part of me feels like I can’t trust him now, and another part of me feels bad because he seems really insecure and upset about it.
I don’t know if this is something people would consider a dealbreaker or if it’s something that could be worked through. I also don’t know if this comes off more as manipulation or just insecurity.