AITAH? I won't let my brother sleep on my couch
Okay I 39(f) won't let my 37(m) come live on my property. Some history, When I was 17, I had my first child, my Mom comes over to visit us and brings my brother she excuses herself to "run to the grocery store for smokes" at which point my brother ask me where he is sleeping and to put his stuff. My Mom had left him for me to raise as she was a long haul truck driver. I was obviously upset and blindsided but did it he graduated high school went into the military the got a good job making 70,000 per year. Great. Fine. Also we have another sibling she is 41(f) The only times this kid has called or contacted me is when he wants or needs something.All in all about 15-20 times, never once paid it back. Examples, calls me up for gas money when he runs out, needs money for cell phone, Mom needed cigarettes (she has since passed away),slept on my couch for a while after he got out of the military and while there stole my kids playstation video game system and pawned it to pay himself back for picking up toilet paper, needed money because he was behind on rent. So many other reason, always says it a loan.
He has always been horrible with budgeting or saving for anything
He called me this past week and first did his usual act of asking how I am what I'm up to how the kids are. All that to finally come out and ask me for money because he made some really poor choices 1) quit his good job and relaced it with door dash as his new income source ( for his mental health)
didn't pay his mortgage because of choice 1 got foreclosed on had to move out
got in a car accident (his fault) but didn't pay his car insurance so couldn't replace the car, can't do doordash any more
didn't pay his rent, got sent eviction notice, went to court, lost, got evicted. Has X amount of days to move out
I for the first time did not give him money, I personally can not afford it, not for the amount he wants. I am paying for my own mortgage, kids (4 boys), spouse, bills, and animals.
He then calls my step-dad who I am letting live in our fully furnished separate in-law house on our property. Asks my step-dad if he could come stay with him on the couch, my dad asks me(because it's my property)
I say no. (Here are my reasons even though I don't think I need any)
We live out in the country 35 mins from the nearest grocery store. On 25 acres. He has no working vehicle, it would not be as simple as him sleeping on my couch on our property. He would need us to pay for him to get from 6 states away. He would need food, more costs for our electricity, to borrow our vehicles or have us take our time to drive him places to look for work, and so many other things that would make our lives harder. The economy is already making our lives hard. The cost of living has gone up so much. And we have debt to pay off.
I don't want this obligation. He is not my child, I am already helping out my step-dad.
AITAH for finally having boundaries. Also my spouse doesnt want him here either.