How to thrive in a homophobic country?
For those of you still living in homophobic countries, how do you survive and thrive? I’m from Malaysia, and while things can be a bit better in more liberal cities, it’s still hard to know who you can trust enough to be open about yourself. I come from a controlling and hyper religious background, and I’m still fearful of being out because I don’t really have a social group or support outside of it. It's not even that I necessarily want to be fully out, but after years of dealing with internalized homophobia and suppressing myself, I do want to be able to talk to people about it, things like dating, preferences, and these feelings in general. Basically, the same kinds of conversations people normally have with friends about dating and married life, just from a gay perspective.
I’m also a bit broke right now, so bars aren’t really an option for me, and even then, there’s still the fear that comes with it. It feels like I was supposed to figure myself out back in university, but now that I’ve graduated, it feels like I’m starting all over again from the beginning.
Essentially, I just want to know how I can explore who I am and learn to live with myself, even while being legally and socially repressed here. Or is my only viable option simply to leave the country?