I (mid 20s F) have a friend from high school getting married abroad next summer. We’re part of a group of 4 girls.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years (serious relationship, we’ve talked about engagement), so this isn’t a casual relationship. Originally, it seemed like we could bring plus-ones, so I planned the trip with him in mind.
That changed after the bride got into an argument with one of the other girls in our group and told her her boyfriend was uninvited. After that, she decided none of us in our friend group could bring plus-ones. She later said it was due to guest count, but realistically it’s only affecting me and one other girl.
I had planned this as a trip with my partner, and traveling abroad alone isn’t something I’m comfortable with, especially since I don’t live near the other girls and would be flying and navigating everything solo.
I told her I wasn’t trying to push back, since it’s her wedding and her decision, just that this changes things for me. Because of that, I decided not to go.
One of the other girls said I’m prioritizing my boyfriend over the wedding, which I don’t agree with. The girl whose boyfriend was originally uninvited actually agrees with me.
AITA?
Edit: Since a few people asked, yes, we would be paying for all of the expenses ourselves. A few people suggested he still come on the trip and just skip the wedding, and we did consider that.Ideally I would’ve loved for him to still come on the trip, but realistically would you want to show up somewhere you know you weren’t welcomed to attend? This would’ve been the type of trip where we’d all be staying at the same resort/hotel, spending time together outside the wedding, doing group dinners/activities, etc. I can completely understand why he wouldn’t want to spend his time and money showing up to something where he knows he was intentionally excluded.
I also feel like it would’ve been different if the bride herself had suggested that as a solution, but she didn’t. Her suggestion was for me to just stay with the other girls instead.