My fiancé and I are getting married this fall, and we decided early on not to have a full wedding party, just a maid of honor and a best man. Choosing my maid of honor was easy, my sister.
We thought my fiancé’s decision would be just as straightforward, but it’s become more complicated after family members began sharing their opinions. He has always planned to ask his older cousin to be his best man. They grew up together, share many of the same experiences and interests, work together, and have a close relationship. His cousin has always felt like an older brother, someone he looks up to.
My fiancé also has a younger brother, who is seven years younger. They have a good relationship as well, but it has always felt natural to choose his cousin for this role. He even went so far as to pick out a meaningful gift to ask his cousin to be his best man.
Now, however, his family is expressing opinions and doesn’t agree with his decision, believing he should choose his younger brother instead. My fiancé tends to avoid conflict and will often adjust his choices to keep the peace. But this is one moment where I really want him to make a decision based on what he truly wants, not what others expect of him.
Is it wrong for him to have his cousin as his best man? Should he choose his brother to avoid tension? And if he does go with his cousin, are there thoughtful ways we can still make his brother feel included and important in the day?