So we have been together over 2 years, live together and all around have a good relationship. He has ADHD, and has always struggled to wake up, but previously this wasn't anything a nudge from me wouldn't fix. I wake up with my first alarm everytime, i am always anxious about being late.
He has recently opened his own cafe, so obviously he has had lots of late nights/early mornings. My issue is, he tells me to wake him up at X time (like 6/6:30 am), which I don't mind, i am trying to help in any way I can. But he is not waking up, I have to wake him up at least 5/6 times to even get a word out of him, and these words are usually him telling me hes awake (he is not), or him shouting at me. So then, it is now about 7 am, I am fully awake with no hope of going back to sleep if i dont need to be up, hes shouted at me so I am annoyed, and both of us are in a bad mood.
I also get anxious about him being late, to the point I won't go out (to the gym etc) without knowing he's awake. I dont want him to set himself back because he's tired and slept in.
What can I do? I know when he shouts at me he doesn't mean it because he is still half asleep. I dont want to feel responsible for him waking up, but I don't want to let him fail and potentially suffer the consequences of this.
EDIT:
This is not normal behaviour from him, when I say I used to have to nudge him, it would be like once a week, and when we had both stayed up too late, or he was up extra early.
He is coming home at 1/2am most nights from work, and having to be there at 7am, working 70+ hours a week. If I was doing that I’d be shattered as well. I didn’t come here to shame him, I want advice on how to handle this so a) i don’t have to anxiously wake up, and b) he can get back into a routine.
He isn’t lazy or incompetent, he is just over worked and we need suggestions to help both of us.
EDIT 2:
Not once has he blamed him not waking up on me, and thanks me every morning for it.
He has said that if he is late it is his fault, i just get anxious at the thought of him being late. I am an ‘on time is late’ person.