u/AdNecessary7146

This is my first job so I'd really really appreciate any advice!

Based in UK, heard back from this third-sector organisation. Called me to congratulate me on being the selected candidate, asked me to provide documents (identification, right to work, qualifications etc.), chased both references and they paid for my background checks. All this has been exceedingly slow to process - between the time I received the verbal offer and today, it's been 5 weeks. A week after my background check came through, and hearing no response aside from a "thank you for letting us know", I followed up for next steps. Manager replied saying they had been moving office and got busy, said they'd have a management meeting that week and would get back to me with a start date. Been a few days since her last email and I've heard nothing. I've become suspicious that I'm either not the lead choice or the job post is in question. It's been doing my head in not knowing and has given me massive anxiety. What do you reckon is going on?

This is my first job so I'd really really appreciate any advice!

Based in UK, heard back from this third-sector organisation. Called me to congratulate me on being the selected candidate, asked me to provide documents (identification, right to work, qualifications etc.), chased both references and they paid for my background checks. All this has been exceedingly slow to process - between the time I received the verbal offer and today, it's been 5 weeks. A week after my background check came through, and hearing no response aside from a "thank you for letting us know", I followed up for next steps. Manager replied saying they had been moving office and got busy, said they'd have a management meeting that week and would get back to me with a start date. Been a few days since her last email and I've heard nothing. I've become suspicious that I'm either not the lead choice or the job post is in question. It's been doing my head in not knowing and has given me massive anxiety. What do you reckon is going on?

This is my first job so I'd really really appreciate any advice!

Based in UK, heard back from this third-sector organisation. Called me to congratulate me on being the selected candidate, asked me to provide documents (identification, right to work, qualifications etc.), chased both references and they paid for my background checks. All this has been exceedingly slow to process - between the time I received the verbal offer and today, it's been 5 weeks. A week after my background check came through, and hearing no response aside from a "thank you for letting us know", I followed up for next steps. Manager replied saying they had been moving office and got busy, said they'd have a management meeting that week and would get back to me with a start date. Been a few days since her last email and I've heard nothing. I've become suspicious that I'm either not the lead choice or the job post is in question. It's been doing my head in not knowing and has given me massive anxiety. What do you reckon is going on?

I (32 F) am really struggling here. I've been with my partner (35 M) for 5 years. During this time, a few things have become problems that appeared to be insurmountable - we're from a different race and culture, and more recently, the fact that I can't have kids. My partner is not racist but he almost ended our relationship because he thought mixed race children have tenuous identities. This was when we didn't know I was infertile. Anyway, he almost ended things, then re-committed to us, saying he shouldn't "throw away love" for the sake of "ideas" and has been committed since. Recently, when we found out I couldn't bear children, he again said we should end our relationship as he wanted to be a dad; however, within a few hours, he was saying he was resigning himself to God because he wanted to accept his fate, including challenges.

Now, I'm not really seeking advice about the issues themselves but how he deals with them. I have a very different model of commitment from him: for me, commitment means not re-committing after ending/almost ending the relationship every so often but not letting things become an insurmountable problem in the first place. I have never once considered ending the relationship because there was a challenge. He told me he jumps to the extreme because that's his way out in a moment of stress and that he doesn't mean it; however, it feels really jarring to me. Words are sacred to me, they are not state-dependent. My therapist has said, perhaps rightly, that while this might be how I operate, it's not necessarily realistic to expect everyone to have the same model of commitment as me, the fact that his internal processing might look different to me.

What do you all think? Would this be a dealbreaker for you or am I misguided to expect that my partner behaves like me based on my model of commitment, or is his pattern or recommitting after declaring something a massive problem, also a type of commitment?