Paranormal Activity: The 3 AM Torpedo Edition. My tank is officially haunted.
I am writing this from my bed, shaking, because my Betta, Van Gogh, has decided that sleep is for the weak.
This fish really is a menace. Earlier today during tank maintenance, he turned into a literal ballistic missile, jumping out of the water THREE times, flying past my face and hitting the glass. I thought he’d be tired by now. I was wrong.
It’s 3 AM. I finally lay down and turned on a tiny, dim nightlight. Apparently, it took 10 minutes for Van Gogh’s brain to process the light photons, because suddenly, while he was just chilling on his leaf, he decided to achieve orbit again.
You know that magical moment when you’re finally drifting off to sleep? Your brain is getting foggy, your muscles are relaxing, and you’re one second away from dreamland... and then SPLASH. SPLASH. SMACK.
It’s not just a little pop. It’s the sound of pouring water. In the dead silence of 3 AM, it sounds like a bucket of water being dumped on the floor.
My soul basically leaves my body. My heart does a backflip into my throat, and suddenly I’m wide awake, paralyzed by the fear that I’m about to find out that my tank somehow broke in the middle of the night. I lay there in the dark, heart racing, only to realize... no, it’s just Van Gogh. He just decided to turn into a missile again.
It’s not a hobby anymore. It’s a jump-scare simulator I pay to maintain.
He’s in a lush 25L (6.6gal) planted tank with botanicals, but he looks like he lives in a blender because he keeps shredding his fins. I’m starting to think he’s not just a "tail nipper," but has actual neurological glitches.
How am I supposed to sleep when I have a white torpedo with a death wish 2 meters from my head? Is there such a thing as fish therapy, or should I just accept that I live with a tiny, aquatic poltergeist? Please, send help, I'm afraid of this fish at this point 🤣