Can a relationship with someone with BPD genuinely improve with therapy/DBT?
My wife and I have been together for 3 years and legally married for 3 months. Looking back, there were emotionally unstable patterns throughout the relationship, but I interpreted them as sensitivity, insecurity, or unresolved trauma rather than something more serious.
Over the last month and a half, things became extremely volatile. There were threats of divorce, emotional abuse, fear of abandonment, constant emotional swings, and a level of chaos that left me emotionally exhausted and confused.
Recently, she acknowledged she may have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and is now asking for another chance. She’s apologetic, wants therapy seriously, and says she finally understands the impact of her behavior.
She’s also reached a point where she says she cannot imagine wanting to live if the relationship ends, which has added another layer of fear and emotional pressure to the situation. She was even in hospital last week.
I care about her deeply, but I’m struggling to know whether this can realistically improve long term or whether I’m stepping back into a damaging cycle.
For those with partners who actively committed to therapy/DBT, did things improve in a stable and meaningful way over time? What changed, and what didn’t?