Am I bi for attention?
Hi all, I’m currently going through a phase of questioning myself and I thought I’d post here, I’d love to hear about similar experiences.
I am 32, with my partner (M, straight) since my early twenties, we’ve been happily married for a couple of years. We’re non-monogamous and regularly have fun times together with thirds, couples, etc. Parts of why we started doing this was coming from me feeling attracted to women wanting to explore that. We made a lot of fun encounters and I like having sex with women, but somehow I’ve always weirdly doubted the ‘legitimacy’ of my bisexuality. I’m aware that being ‘bi for attention’ is a super common stereotype but I feel like it might really be what I am, for several reasons:
- I’m usually more drawn to men, probably 70/30 if I had to put it in percentages. Whenever we’d date couples, I’d usually be more drawn to the guy
- I’ve never been in love with a woman or in a relationship with one
- Almost all of my sexual experiences with women have been with my partner being around, never one on one
- I feel bad about this one, but I’ve definitely purposely mentioned that I am bisexual in some situation because I knew/thought that the person in front of me found find it sexy
I think parts of me feeling that way is also coming from the fact that I am married to a straight man, and therefore live a very straight lifestyle that doesn’t belong in the queer community. I feel like by calling myself bisexual, I might be ‘taking up space’ instead of other LGBTQIA+ folks that need the visibility a lot more than I do
Im a bit confused with what I’m feeling and I guess it’s a mix of internalized biphobia and self doubt, but also somehow a need to feel like I belong somewhere? I’d love to hear some perspectives on this as I am really a bit confused. Thank you