my first mothersday
In honour of mothersday yesterday, I wanted to share about my first mothersday.
This was years ago but I think about it most years.
I was 20, married, expecting my first child.
My baby was over due, so my labour was induced.
It was a long labour, very scary. I lost a lot of blood but eventually my baby girls was born.
Because of the blood loss I was kept in hospital a few days.
My mother did not visit me.
She had gone on a trip to visit my aunty a couple days before I was induced.
She called once, seemed short with me, asked me what I had and hung up.
I thought that was weird but she was not particularly stable emotionally so it wasn't unusual.
So I went home the day before mothersday.
One the morning of mothersday the baby seemed off, fussy and not feeding, as a very new mother I panicked and took her to the hospital
I got some advice, she was checked and we went home.
Because of this I totally forgot it was mothersday.
Then I got the phone call.
My mother was very angry " how dare I forget her on mothersday !"
I tried to explain how my baby was sick.
She blasted me, I was apparently a selfish B who didn't care about her any more because I had my own baby now.
I was a horrible daughter and she hopes my daughter treats me like I treat her
I said she should be happy she has her first grandchild, she said why would that make her happy when it means she gets ignored.
I spent the rest of the day crying.
My husband tried to be supportive, his mother had rang me to wish me happy mothersday and asked after my and babies health.
anyway, thats it.
mothersday was forever tainted with this trauma of a sick baby and a ranting new grandmother.
My mother was never close to my children, she continued to see them as competition.
I went on to have 5 children, all of them are good to me on mothersday but I make sure I celebrate my daughters and daughter in laws on their day as well.
mothersday is for all mothers, but especially the ones in the trenches of early motherhood.