u/AdExact9950

I love my girlfriend a lot and I mean a lot but it pains me to say I do not like how she reacts to things. It gets to the point where I just feel like absolute trash. A little backstory about us. We’re both nurses (I’ve been a nurse for a year longer) who work overnight. So already our daily routine is screwed. We have been dating for about 4 years now and living together for almost 1.5 years. Anyway, now some examples on her outburst.

A few months ago we came home after picking our dogs up from her mom’s. Two or our three dogs don’t like walking on the floor. I’ve been teaching them to walk on the floor, still work in progress but I don’t want a dog who just only sits and walks on a carpet. Anyway I brought our one dog into the kitchen to walk right as we got home. My girlfriend said “put her on the carpet she’s going to fall with that on her”. She walks all over the house with it on so I said “she should do fine” well she was until she turned the corner and slipped on her face. My girlfriend freaked out on me and was telling me to fuck off as I asked if she’s okay (dog was fine, no pain or bruises). Just cursing me out saying insults. I got annoyed so I went to make the dog’s food. She starts stomping around the house slamming things while still yelling at me. I told her how I think it’s very interesting and also disgusting how she can easily curse at me and throw insults while I never have done such things. She tries to angrily grab a rag from the kitchen, misses, and then gets it. I say “if you wanna show you’re mad then grab it the first time” because at this point the childish behavior was getting to me. She then STORMS into the kitchen and grabs the pot from my hand, pushes me away and slams it onto the stove and says “go to the other room now” and I’m just like what the hell I had literally cooking food in the hand. At this point I’m saying that was totally unsafe and to calm down this is going too far now and she proceeded to slap my hands away and pushes me telling me to go to the other room like I am the one acting out. Im there just trying to calm her down and say this is really unsafe right now. She then proceeds to storm off and then later cries. Doesn’t apologize at first but says that she hit me (which she did). I comforted her and she then apologized. I wanted to calm the situation down there and I was fine when she calmed down. But ever since then I just felt different. Like , she didn’t cause any harm to me but how she reacted and her physically putting her hands on me never sat right.

The other day we got a new screen door placed on our front door. The way to lock it is unique in that in order to lock it you have to push the handle up and then twist the lock. Lock won’t twist if you don’t push the handle up first. When the guy showed me how to lock it and left I went to tell my girlfriend who was eating food I made for her. She says “I don’t want to hear it right now I just want to eat” so I said uh okay. It’s different than usual but there’s instructions on the inside of the door. Later by night time she went to see it for herself. When she went to lock it I said “hey lemme tell you how to lock it now” and she goes with an attitude “it’s self explanatory” and then proceeds to fumble on how to lock it. So I go and show her how to do it. After showing her I say in a jokingly manner “self explanatory right?” Then she proceeds to freak out on me. Saying that “was my second strike of the day” and me being super confused asked what was my first? I didn’t even do anything today that was remotely “a strike” or whatever she means. In fact. She was out that morning. Then she proceeds to yell “I don’t know yet” and I’m just so confused and at this point annoyed that I’m getting ridiculed for a simple harmless tease (which she can tease and say so much shit to me but she can never take a little tease at all) so I say “you need to learn how to take a joke holy shit” and went downstairs to just be by myself and shred paper. Then she proceeds to act like nothing happened. But it still in my mind.

Another short example is that she got annoyed at me that I didn’t plan on getting her anything for Mother’s Day this year. Spoiler alert, we have no kids. So that confused me. She says she has three dogs and I said uh okay. Where was my Father’s Day gift last year since I have three dogs. Which she didn’t have an answer to that.

I just feel like my girlfriend is very short with me. She treats me as if I’m a child or that I don’t do anything right. I know it’s mostly due to her own stress and she just takes it out on me because I’m there. I told her in the past she needs to work on her anger but it doesn’t get better. I myself have been thinking of going to therapy to get my mind settled on how I get treated. Am I really such a bad boyfriend? How do I handle or help her fix her anger outbursts?