My (26F) avoidant ex (31M) broke up with me after a 5 month relationship and forced no contact. After a week, he DM’d me saying he’d made a mistake, needed me in his life, and begged for forgiveness. He insisted we were incompatible as partners but wanted to be friends. A couple months later we ended up in a situationship, but he refused to acknowledge/accept it as such, insisting we were just friends (we texted all day, “good morning” to “good night”, were intimate, went on dates, and cuddled, all at his pace and initiation). I couldn’t stand the ambiguity, especially with him always telling me when people had crushes on him/asked him out, along with him canceling plans to go hang with his friends instead, so I took my shreds of dignity and told him I was done.
Went no contact for 2-3 months, then I reached out to apologize for how I’d left and gave more of an explanation. He responded saying he understood and there was no bad blood between us, and only that he felt he’d “failed” as my “friend”. We agreed to be cordial and friendly if we ever crossed paths in the future.
It’s been about a month since then and I’m just so tired. I’m getting bombarded by social media saying he’s coming back, signs he’s not coming back, videos about avoidance regretting years later and wanting to try again. I’m too emotionally compromised atp and grieving to see clearly. I’m not going to wait for him, but there’s a small glimmer of hope I can’t get rid of, so I’d like to know y’all’s thoughts. No story online has quite lined up with what’s happened, so I can’t tell one way or the other what to prepare for. I’m just so tired and sad and right now, just want to know straight up instead of all the guessing and anxiety I’m drowning in.