There really is no other way to present this because it comes off as sounding "superior" or a "know it all" or whatever, but the older I get (now 48) the more I really do not like social engagement. This whole loneliness epidemic is a very real thing. Most people do crave social interaction and/or companionship, but I love my solitude so much. I am frequently alone, but never feel lonely. My intimate partner is long distance because I'm not built for cohabitation. The thought of someone in my space every day would be irritating to me. He lives on another continent and we are both fortunate enough to have the financial means to travel as much as we want to see each other.
However, having conversations with the average person is honestly very irritating; and downright painful. I have a 131 IQ and my mom has a 141 IQ and she is way more sociable than I am, but the drama she deals with in her social circle that never involves her would drive me crazy. I think high IQ women are better able to manage these things because I think women overall are more tolerant and give people more grace than they deserve.
I am someone who can only do but so much "small talk" and pop culture discussion. Oh I can have it. I watch the Real Housewives and other trash TV, but I also read books a lot and have a thirst for knowledge. In the past couple of years when I have tried meeting new people, it never lasts. I'm too serious for them and they are too unserious for me. People say they have a hard time keeping up with me and previous intimate partners have commented feeling "intimidated" by my intelligence. Also, the digital age has altered brain development. All this time on phones and social media has affected neural pathways that reward dopamine driven activities and has negatively impacted areas of the brain that manage emotional regulation, critical thinking, impulse control, and deep thinking. It shows.
Therefore, it is extremely challenging making long lasting connections. Being Black and gay I feel like it makes me even more of a fish out of water because I am very turned off by gay social culture. I have been making an effort to engage more socially because in my mind I am thinking that it can't be good to be alone so much. However, I think I am at the point where I have come to accept that there is nothing wrong with being a loner because solitude is not loneliness. I do not have the mental health challenges of those who suffer from loneliness I'm actually very content with where I am. I thrive in my job and am so grateful I am able to work completely remote and not have to interact with coworkers. I will never go back to a job that requires me to go in an office.
So that is pretty much it. Most people just irritate me. I moved from the US to Mexico in late October 2024 and that was definitely a good move. Back in the US whenever I would show up somewhere that I used to frequent I would get a lot of "oh my goodness where have you been we haven't seen you in awhile". I would say that I had just been really busy, but the reality was I barely left the house because you people are stupid and I refuse to accept mediocrity. But, ya know...you're not supposed to say that out loud because it is "condescending" and "mean" I no longer care at this point. I'm rooting for the zombie apocalypse at this point or the AI robots to quickly figure out that they need to take humans out of here and start over.
Any thoughts? I am open to vehement pushback or anyone who has similar thoughts. Thanks.