Hello! I hope someone sees this who has improved in how they view themselves. I am determined to do something about my total lack of belief in myself and have tried several workbooks to work through it, but I just don't understand them.
I was told I had critically low self-esteem by a therapist. I do not have the money for therapy. Time is thankfully I resource I can spare to work on it.
I just.. Don't dare, to do anything really. I don't dare trying new hobbies. I don't leave home unless I have to (school, work shopping, working out). I have a heartrate akin to a heart attack when making a dating profile, my mind goes blank when I am sending someone a message, because I think, I WILL mess this up.
I have understood that others genuinely don't see what I see, in me. They see someone attractive, intelligent and humorous, I see none of those things and it has taken me a long time to genuinely realize people aren't just being nice saying those things.
I am trying to cognitively re-pave my mind. Replacing those constant condescending thoughts as they appear, but I am falling short. I have tried a little to find a partner, but I know in the end that won't solve my issues at all and that this needs to be solved by me.
This turned into something more than a question. I apologize. I am tired.