Phone use - 15 year old
After some advice. Please be gentle - I am actively trying to parent better than my upbringing!
15 year old, (Aus) received phone Feb this year under the understanding that he would work to pay for credit (at that point had a job) and continue to do his martial arts 2x a week. We did still have time restrictions on it at 2 hours a day Monday to Thursday (school) + 3 hours Friday (finishes early at school) and 4 hours Saturday and Sunday. I can also access his location if I have concerns but generally don't worry too much about that it's more for emergencies.
The first month went great, since then though it's been a downhill slide into a hermit crab state for him. He has all but quit his job, not picking up any shifts offered, declining the ones sent to him so now they don't send him any at all.
He also basically stopped his sporting activity too - so I've stated of he can't either return to it (these guys he trains with are like a second family for him and he enjoys it when he's there) or have a conversation about another way to have physical activity during the week I would have to reduce his times down to 2 hours per day. That seemed to work and he's back training.
In terms of credit though he doesn't have enough for next month, and said the other day that he will just use the Wi-Fi at home, I was a little shocked by the entitlement of this statement! I tried to say that wifi isn't a right and he will still need credit to access his phone, this went down like a tonne of bricks, and now I'm at a loss. Do I remove the device off the wifi or reduce his time down to say 1 hour a day so he still has access but it's limited until he can afford credit? Do I stand my ground on this as we had an agreement at the beginning when we gave him the phone (I will add I didn't want to, but at 15 I feel like we did bloody well to keep him off it so long, we have no other gaming or tech devices in the house except tv) or do I just let him continue on the path he's on? He is a shell of himself, and fights me every step of the way as all his friends have free range on their devices etc.
I will add if he does the above he basically has free range of being with friends and stuff, like can go to the shops, hang out at their places etc but we expect the above to be completed so it's really only the time limits that are and issue here.
I'm probably opening myself up to huge judgement, but I am in therapy, as is he and we are just trying to do the best we can to be there for him but still have boundaries and respect for each other.