u/Acrobatic_Isopod9261

What I admire about good people isn’t that they’re pure. It’s that they aren’t. They feel bitterness. Jealousy. Darkness. They have the same ugly thoughts as anyone else. But they don’t let it decide who they are. Even when a part of them wants others to fail, they choose not to act on it. They choose restraint. They choose kindness anyway.

That’s what makes them good. Not the absence of darkness, but the discipline to hold onto the light.

What I admire about good people isn’t that they’re pure. It’s that they aren’t. They feel bitterness. Jealousy. Darkness. They have the same ugly thoughts as anyone else. But they don’t let it decide who they are. Even when a part of them wants others to fail, they choose not to act on it. They choose restraint. They choose kindness anyway.

That’s what makes them good. Not the absence of darkness, but the discipline to hold onto the light.

I am being serious. If I love minecraft, people think I am childish, cringe and too mainstream. OR people think I am nerdy and cool.

If I am direct and set boundaries, I am rude. OR I am responsible. If I am being polite and beat around the bush, I am lame and fake. OR I am kind.

If I wear something nice, I am arrogant and pick me. OR I have self respect. If I wear something casual, I am also arrogant and pick me. OR I am chill.

If I am too talkative and enthusiastic, people find it annoying. OR I am good company. If I am quiet and chill, people also find it annoying. OR I am also good company.

If am chalant, I am cringe and "too much". OR I am interesting and a magnetic vibe. If I am nonchalant, I am boring. OR I am cool and mysterious.

By nature, I am very direct and talkative. And I like wearing nice, girly clothes that people view as "pick me". Yes, some people will judge me if I allow more of my real side to come forward. But they will judge me anyway, so basically there is nothing to lose. And the right people that like me for who I am, will find me.

I never watched the DSMP. I basically lived under a rock back then, for reasons that are hard to explain. I went through a phase where I completely shut myself off from the internet, like a monk, and this was when I was 12-15. I was really hard on myself. I was such a weirdo lol.

So I didn’t know about any of it, or any of the creators, until 2024, long after it was all over. I spent months that year watching the content, and it just hit me like… damn. I know my 12-13 year old self would have loved this. I have always loved Minecraft, roleplay, etc.

It kind of sucks to be such a big Minecraft fan and realize I completely missed the peak of something I would have been obsessed with if I had just allowed myself to be a normal kid and be online.

Now it just feels like I missed something I was supposed to experience, and I don’t really know how to deal with that feeling of regret...