Im so tired
My partner is verbaly abusif. He is a cocain addict. He lost his job about 1-2 months ago. I have been working full time. Taking care of our baby. Im always the one taking care of baby in the night. All he does is smoke. snort and complain about where hes at life.
I was doing so well before meeting him almost 5 years ago. I payed 85% of my debts. I had started my driving lessons. But now i dont even remember the last time I did something for myself. I dont have money anymore. Everything goes to the family. Im the only one working.
On top of that, im expected to clean up before I leave to work. Mind you, i dont care about cleaning up after myself. But this guy wants us to clean the ENTIRE house at 7:30AM. If not, HIS day is ruined. I also have to wake baby up, give him breakfast and dress him to leave for the day. All of this while he is still sleeping. Then when he wakes up, he goes straight outside to smoke a cigarette for atleast 15 minutes. Comes back inside and spends another 30 minutes locked in the bathroom shitting his brains out.
Im tired. He does nothing and only thinks about himself. He has never helped me at night since our child was born. My baby is 1.5 years old. Im tired of working two full time jobs.
Its embarrassing complaining to family and friends because they always ask why isnt my partner helping. Because hes a POS, thats why he isnt helping. God knows I cant tell them that, because thats not how he acts and behaves when he is with other people. Family and friends arent around him enough to see how low mentaly he has been.
He reminds me of a teenager.
A grown child.
He wants everything handed to him.
If he is not happy, no one gets to be happy.
Its his way or no way.
I want to leave… and eventually will.