Salut à tous !

Je suis une femme de 27 ans et je me pose une question.

J’aimerais avoir l’avis des hommes : depuis mon adolescence, j’entends souvent dire que je ne suis pas le genre de fille avec qui on sortirait et avec qui ont imagine une relation amoureuse, mais ça n’a pas empêcher à ces mêmes hommes de me proposer des relations sexuelles alors que je ne suis pas du genre à coucher avec quelqu’un en dehors d’une relation. Du coup, j’attire surtout des hommes qui ne cherchent que ça (et je n’ai jamais cédé), alors que mes amies, elles, étaient en couple et ont réussi – ou réussissent encore – à sortir avec ceux qui leur plaisent. Maintenant que je suis de nouveau célibataire, je veux comprendre un peu votre point de vue et comprendre ce que j’ai pu faire et ne pas le refaire même si c’était sans m’en rendre compte.

Pour information : je prends soin de moi, je me maquille, je choisis mes vêtements avec soin et je ne porte pas de tenues provocantes ou sexy. Je suis super ouverte d’esprit, un peu timide au début mais bien intégré je suis bon publique, je m’entends facilement avec tout le monde. Je suis hyper passionné par la musique, l’art et l’automobile et je suis d’ailleurs bientôt motarde. Et Je n’ai eu qu’un seul petit ami.

Ma question est la suivante : qu’est-ce qui vous fait penser « elle est le genre de fille avec qui on peut sortir et se poser» ou « elle va sera juste un plan » ?

Soyez honnêtes dans votre réponse sans être excessivement méchants, merci

Hello there !

I need a POV from men : since I’m a teen, i’ve heard from men that I wasn’t GF material but they never had a problem to ask me for sex when I’m not into sex out of relationship, so I basically attract only men who want it (and I didn’t did with them) when my friends were in couple and were able or are still able to be in couple with they crushes. Now that I’m single again, I want to understand this and not doing the same mistake I maybe did and not recognized.

Also for the record : I take care of myself, put makeup on, choose my clothes wisely and I don’t wear revealing/sexy clothes. Only had 1 boyfriend.

My question is : what make you think « she is GF material » or « it’s just going to be for sex » ?

Don’t be trash but be true in your answer, thanks !

tldr : what makes you think « I want this girl to be my girlfriend » ?

Hi !

I'm a 27 y.o catholic woman from France 🇫🇷. I'm a christian woman since 2017 and I'm struggling with my faith : as a woman, I feel I don't have my place here in the church. I don't feel like a God's daughter anymore. I really struggle to fully submit to him, especially with the submission that I have to show to a husband (I'm single but I'm thinking about it. I struggle to let him enter in me and allowing him to do what He can do in me. I've struggled to breakup with my last relationship who wasn't in God's image and was violent. He was my first and only boyfriend that I had (before men only wanted me for sexual relationship) and now I feel that I won't have anyone else in my life. If being single is God plans, I can't change that, but I really want to be a mother and I'm afraid I won't have this in my life too. I'm so worried about my future. Being a Christian doesn't give me joy or peace that's much anymore but I still truly believe in God existence.

Second problem: men. Men I'm talking with who are christians (all denominations) on social media talk about women in terrible ways, with sexist or misogynist words. They only talk about having a virgin and submissive wife as they deserved it, who should stay home (I'm not against SAHM when fully choose), always talking about women clothes and makeup, ans how they are a prize or a trophy. I don't feel unloved or unequal in dignity for God as a woman but in men's eyes, I do. Some are mixing masculinist and christianity, and I'm afraid of them. When I talk with christian men, I feel like I have to give up who I am like my passion for motorbike and cars or for rock/metal/blues music. I'm not letting people approaching me too much and I keep my distance and they don't like it. I'm tattooed and not virgin anymore, and this is two things that christian men hate in women and I've heard it a lot.

I've talk about it to my priest today and he's reaction was : "No men of God acts this way, you've been so hurt by men that's you are seeing things who are not true. The road with God is a long road, and everyone have to take their time to understand God". I think he doesn't understand and believed me.

I take all help and thoughts about this situation. I still want to reach God even if it's really complicated. Thanks 🙏