"A Relationship Isn't Going to Fix All Your Problems" Is Such a Non-Sequitur
Because literally nobody thinks a relationship is going to solve all of their problems. I've never thought that. I've never seen or heard ANYONE, even the loneliest people, say that or act in a way that would indicate they think that.
Why is somebody not just allowed to be seriously hurting and lonely? I'm grieving the recent death of my father and another family member, I'm reeling every day from severe childhood trauma, I've been through three major extremely traumatic events over the past few years, I'm mourning a recent relationship that ended unexpectedly and explosively, I'm struggling with a longterm physical illness and a concussion, and I'm just not allowed to wish I had someone who would hold me and not let go?
It just feels like something Redditors say because they don't have serious problems, are incapable of empathy, and love to feel superior to others. It's obviously true that a relationship isn't gonna solve all of your problems, but it's also just as objectively true that my mental health is 100,000 times better when I'm in a relationship than not, even in relationships with women who don't like or respect me.
The typical Redditor response to that would be "Well that's a problem, and it's your responsibility to fix it before getting into a relationship." Why? Emotional intimacy and physical closeness are literally basic human needs. I didn't receive any love as a child. Most women I've dated were constantly insulting or humiliating me and playing hot-cold games, and the few who weren't like that forced or tricked me into being vulnerable and then ran for the hills when they realized they weren't attracted to that at all. Nobody in my life has ever told you "I love you" and actually meant it, and that means I'm not allowed to want that and to imagine that might play a small role in healing me if it ever happened? Obviously I don't expect it to solve everything or "fix" me. But this means I'll never be allowed to receive it because I don't deserve it because I've never received it?
And before anyone brings up therapy; I'm already in therapy. I've been in therapy literally since middle school with a number of different therapists. I'm already checking the box you're looking for to flippantly decide whether I'm a good person doing the things I'm supposed to do. Please don't tell me to go therapy.