M29, Just want to rant
Disclaimer: This is a grown man sobbing like a little girl. I advise you to skip this.
I(M29) is today reflecting on my actions and how it had long term repercussions on my life. I am from a quiet, rural area in the southern part of India. My ancestors were quite well off. So, along with the riches and money, I also inherited the pride and prejudice from them. By the time of my parents, most of my relatives have sold of most of the land to live comfortably.
I always though I was intelligent and academically gifted. I spent most of my childhood, establishing that I am a prodigy rather than working hard or improving myself. In college, I realized I am no longer surrounded by the yes men and teachers in my village. Started realizing, I am no longer academically gifted. Here, I reacted in a completely different way, I started accepting I am dumb. Which took a toll on my self respect and confidence.
I got placed in a decent company. Was never disciplined for a Indian manufacturing fast paced job. So, left it for pursuing interests in core domains, which lead to discovering my passion in fabrication where salaries can be compared to peanuts. Did quite well there, started earning decent. But, the desire to excel in life led me to resign from that job and do MBA(Yes, before, I could reap the benefits of early hard toiling in work).
Now, my MBA has ended few days back. As, someone who hasn't left the manufacturing and operations life behind and who wasn't intelligent enough to dive into the future. I am unplaced, not knowing what to do? What I am doing wrong? Even in manufacturing and supply chain, I realized I am good, but not great enough for people to notice my profile.
Everyday, I login to computer, apply for around 20 jobs, which I believe I can do well, not thinking about the remuneration. Now, filled with a heavy heart and an inbox full of rejection mails.