I don't want to reach out to her for Mother's Day, but I'm afraid not to.
This is the first year I'm not doing anything for Mother's Day, or at least not planning to. We haven't said anything to each other since yet another fight a couple weeks ago, and I had a feeling that it might end up lasting through today. I wish I were happy about it, or relieved or vindicated, but honestly I'm just scared. Even ignoring the instinctive guilt over not saying anything, I feel like neither option will end well.
I don't want to break the silence and reach out first, or we'll just go back into the same cycle again. Even as part of me is yelling at me to do it, I can't make myself act like everything's fine and celebrate with her. But if I don't say anything today, it will be weaponized against me as soon as we are talking again. She's already been in tears that we haven't done anything for Mother's Day the last few years when that's not even true, so I'm terrified to give her actual ammunition to use. I don't know if I'll break and decide to message her, but I know that neither way is going to end well.