u/Acid_the_hell_hound

So as the title states my bf of 7 years (19 male) accused me (19) female of faking a stalker, i don’t use Reddit much at all, and I am on mobile, so please forgive any mistakes. I feel at a loss and don’t know what do do, I don’t particularly like turning to the internet for help and advice, but I have no one else to talk to, this is a throwaway account more or less, I hope my bf doesn’t see this as I feel bad For bringing out relationship problems to the internet, but maybe it isn’t that bad as there are millions of people on this sub, (all I want to say is if you are reading this, please don’t be upset that I turned to a bunch of strangers for help, I felt like I had no one else to talk this through with, and if you want to post your side of the story, please feel free to do so,) the information in this post is to on the nose to try and make it seem like it wasn’t me who posted, anyway, ——> start of problem, me and my bf have been together since we were 13, and in middle school (we are in the US) and in high school (probably around 11-12th grade, last two years of high school in the US) there was this guy who started hanging around our friend group, and he was off putting to me, I just had a bad feeling about him, but I ignored it. To make the context brief he got my discord and started DMing me, and we chatted, I didn’t see anything wrong with this, nor did my bf as most of our mutual friends are guys and he doesn’t have a problem with me taking directly to guys, as I don’t have a problem with him talking directly to girls. And eventually after a month or two of off and on again dms the guy confessed to me that he had a crush on me, I was \*so uncomfortable\* and explained that I wasn’t into him and was in a 5-6 year long relationship at the time with his friend (my bf) and was not interested, (he also was well aware that me and my bf were in a relationship, we made it ver obvious) and the guy seemed to take it well…. Until he didn’t, he would call me non stop, after a week or so, sometimes 2-4 in the morning, crying and screaming about how he was better for me than my bf, and how he deserved a gf, and all that. He then stated following me around school, in between classes, to my car etc. it got so bad that my bf had to walk me to and from my classes making my bf late just so I would feel safe, and because we are in the US, the school did jack all, so I had to handle the situation by myself with my bfs help. And it got so bad that my bf almost got in a fist fight with the guy in the school parking lot, but because we live in a school district with a 0 tolerance policy rule, I convinced him it wasn’t worth it, even though I wanted to fight the guy myself two, after he stated running up to me and grabbing at my sleeves and collar forcing me to talk to him by physically restraining me by refusing to let go of me, he did this in front of hundreds of other people in the main quad, so I was damn sure I was never going to be alone with him.(A 0 tolerance policy rule in the US is when two or more kids get in a physical altercation both are punished equally even if it’s self defense, it’s supposed to prevent fights, but it just causes kids to stand around and watch as some poor kid gets beat on trying not to fight back as they don’t want to get in trouble) but at the end of the day we graduated and the situation was over and done with, or so I thought as I currently have not seen is guy in like 3 years. ——-> context over, problem starts(I don’t want to go into every single thing this guy did, as we hold be here a long while, and I need to get to the issue at hand)——> about a week ago my bf tells me that he has been in contact with this dude as he is a mutual in the gaming chat my bf is in, and this guy won’t stop hrassing my bf to let him apologize to me, and this guy has somehow magically forgot everything he had done, but wanted to apologize anyway as he was a “changed person” (if he was a changed person he wouldn’t have harassed my bf constantly to let him talk to me, but I digress) my bf got so tired of this he tried to convince me to talk to this guy again, but I was adamant that I didn’t want to, and after a hour or two of fighting he tried to convince me that I should just wright a list of everything this guy did to me so he could show the guy and then he would magically leave us alone. I told him no, I don’t want to go and think about all traumatic things this guy has done to me and weight it down so he can read it, we ended up fighting, until 2 in the morning, trying to work this out, I don’t like to go to bed angry and hurt, but maybe that’s not a conducive way of going about things. And I explained to him over and over that I did not want to talk to him at all, or right a list, as I haven’t even thought of this guy in almost 2-3 years and I was happy keeping it that way, and that I felt betrayed and hurt that he wouldn’t protect me from this guy and instead try and force me to talk to him again, and that was wrong of him to do. And that I was sorry that he was harassing my bf, but that he knows what this guy did to me, and that I need my bf to be my rock and protect me, not cave under pestering from him and essentially throw me to the wolves so to say, but my bf was just so upset that I wouldn’t make the problem disappear by hearing this guy’s apology, or right a letter to him. To make a longer story a little shorter, we involved a mutual friend who showed him that my bf was being ridiculous and disrespectful to me and my bf apologized and we made up. Until last night——> event #2—> during the previous argument I had to join the group chat call as at one point in the argument he hung up and went to go play games with the discord server and was not answering my calls and was ignoring me (yes the problem guy was in this group chat two and all 5 of them were playing games together) and when I joined the chat I stated talking to my bf about the problem, and how it was wrong to ignore me, it was fine if he needed space, but you can’t just dip and say nothing, and the chat went quiet and eventually they all left (except the problem guy and my bf) I had the problem guy blocked so I could not hear what we was saying, and after this whole stunt the three of us were kicked out of the group chat. (I joined a while ago to play a game with my bf and a mutual friend, I did not know the problem guy was in the chat, because I thought my bf blocked him…. I was wrong) and last night my bf and me were invited back into the server, to “state our side to the counsel” so they could figure out if we needed to say banned (lord I know) obviously I don’t want to join back, but my bf does as he wants to play his games with his friends, and the owner of the server won’t let anyone have a problem with another person in the server, so they need to either figure it out and work it out, or they stay banned. “Two people can’t have each other blocked in the server it just doesn’t work” so my bf listened to the guy and the server and the problem guy apparently “showed proof” that he never did any of that by logging in to his old accounts and showed that “it never happened” so my bf started to believe him, and told me that if I can’t show proof of him doing the things I said he did then my bf was going to think about a single life, because how could he trust me when I had no proof of this guy hrassing me and trying to be with me….. now I thought that I made a new discord account to get away from this guy and told my bf so, and that I didn’t have the login information for my old account, I was wrong and turns out I was able to find the chats, in a panic because I thought my bf was going to brake up with me at 2 in the morning last night. (I wasn’t thinking straight, I typically go to bed at 9-10, and was woken up at 2 because my bf called me accusing me of faking everything this guy did) once I was able to take the screenshots and send them to my bf he immediately switched sides and started saying mean things about the guy and wing on my side, I told my bf that what he did was messed up, and that my bf new that this guy was smart and never said or did anything to incriminating that can be proven, as he did most of the things in person, or over calls, not through texts. And that I felt betrayed that my bf would potentially believe this guy because “he could prove that he didn’t do any of that because he could log into old accounts and show that he didint have my discord” obviously he didn’t log into the one account he deleted where he would message me from. And I told my bf that it was messed up that he would threaten to brake up with me if I couldn’t prove in righting that this guy was awful to me, even though he saw what this guy did to me in person at school, and how I would cower behind my bf in fear from this guy. And the worst part of it all, the knew I wouldn’t want to, or would join the call to the group chat and prove myself innocent as their opinions don’t matter to me, my bfs does, so he ticked me into talking to them by calling them on discord after he was convinced I was lying to him, and called me on my phone, put me on speaker, the group chat on mute and accused me of lying about this whole situation in front of everyone, when I found this out I said that it was seriously messed up that he did that and hung up, we haven’t talked sense.——->aftermath—-> I was supposed to see my bf today, but I honestly need some air, and time to think, and I told him so, I have never considered ending our relationship so seriously, I don’t want to be with a man who will point fingers at me and acuse me of awful lyes, I still can’t figure out why he thought I was lying, it’s obvious that this guy is good at tricking people, and he clearly fell for it, and I feel betrayed that he would acuse me of such a thing, and then trick me into talking to the same guy and people who convinced my bf that I was making all this up because I had no concrete proof (at the time) and I am really considering if I want to be with a man who would turn on me so quickly instead of fighting on my side tooth and nail so to say. And it’s not that I want my bf to blindly trust me either, but I feel betrayed that he didint trust me enough to know that I wouldn’t lye about such a serious accusation, I just don’t know what I did to warrant the lack of trust in me to where he would even think for a second that I would lye about a extremely serious issue. And how will I know that he won’t do this again? If someone manages to so easily suede him into believing something that isn’t true, how I can’t trust him that he will believe me, and not some person pointing a finger at me? I don’t know, I don’t want to be with someone who can so easily turn on me and side with someone so awful… anyway sorry for the long ass rant, idk who else to talk to, and need some advice, I want to work things out with my bf, but I am not sure they can be worked out, I don’t want to throw way a 7 year relationship, I don’t want to be like my parents and refuse to try and work on things, me and my bf agreed before this to get counseling, but we have some major events to attend in the next two weeks together, and we can’t see anyone before that, so I need some outside help, any advice is appreciated, even negative, I just don’t know what to do, or how to move forward, thank you kind strangers.