[Complete] [104k] [Modern Fantasy] Green Bird's Song: "By Land"
Blurb: Harley had only been on the multiship a few months and was already used to the life of a sky pirate. The life of a daughter with a real father... that could be filed under maybe. Now that school had started, all she had to worry about was getting good grades on the mainland and continuing to learn about the Furmar life. Simple enough.
Unfortunately, the life of a Furmarian pirate was neither simple nor safe.
~
Excerpt:
Despite being less than a month into school, Harley had to stay on the multiship.
Raeburn, walking through the decorated halls with the little eight-year-old girl at his side, said, “We’re too far away. The time and energy it would take to get to Virginia and back during the day would be too costly.” She could still hear him perfectly well, even through the clamor of crewmates going about their lives; their hooves, shoes, and claws striking the metal floor thinly veiled by intricate runway rugs, and their voices covering their neighbors’ as they spoke in pairs or clusters.
Harley eyed her father. “Really? And this has nothing to do with me being allergic to the V-A-C-C-I-N-E?” Her finger spelling had gotten faster, thankfully, though it still put a strain on her hands. Her ASL lessons with Red had not gone to waste in any capacity.
“No.”
“Red A-V-O-I-D-E-D me all day.”
“He hasn’t been avoiding you. Red wouldn’t avoid you like that,” Raeburn scoffed. “Today’s been a busy day for him. His second mate had a family emergency, and there was a recall on the weapons from one of our smaller manufacturers.”
“All day?”
“Yes, all day. These things take time.”
“What about this morning? Did he know about that this morning?”
Raeburn sighed. “Harley, what is your point?”
“The doctor said werewolves couldn’t hurt me on the day of the full moon. And Red acted W-E-I-R-D when he said that. Now he’s A-V-O-I-D-I-N-G me.”
“For the last time, he isn’t avoiding you, Harley. For God’s sake, he’s a grown man, and he cares for you. We are both aware of what the doctor said. However, there is still the matter of being very far away from your school.” They stopped at the door to the Warehouse.
Harley puffed. “P-H-I-L-I-P went to school today.”
Raeburn’s gloved hand faltered as he reached for the card scanner, ID in hand. He quickly resumed what he was doing, the scanner rejecting him once before letting him through with a quiet beep. “Are you sure that is where he went and not to Furmar or to visit a werewolf pack or his stepmother? His stepmother lives in Sweden, I believe.”
~
Content Warnings: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Blood and Violence, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-Con (not toward a minor), Implied/Referenced Grooming (if you squint), Kidnapping, Self-Harm
Feedback: I'm looking for story feedback, mostly. Does the story make sense? What are your reactions to the characters? Did anything throw you out? What pulled you in, if anything? I'm not totally focused on SPaG or formatting, but any tips are welcome! I have done some funny little formatting tricks to play around with how the story is read/paced, though.
Schedule: Honestly, I'm okay with a relaxed schedule. I would love to just work on this whole thing at once, but that's my bias speaking! So, weekly, bi-weekly... I'm flexible and am willing to work something out!
Critique Swap: I'm also available for a critique swap! :) I read Fantasy/Modern Fantasy predominantly, but I'm edging my way into Sci-Fi, Mystery, and Thriller. My critiques on the latter 3 won't be as strong as Fantasy and Modern Fantasy, but I can certainly try!