I stopped trying to find my passion and my life got significantly better
At some point I just got tired. Not inspired/tired where you flip your whole life around. Exhausted tired. The kind of tired where someone argues with you and youre fine if they think 2+2=5. I have some money saved up from slots on MyPrize and one day I just booked a solo trip to Portugal Madeira. Wanted to visit for some time and just yeeted it. Something about being alone in a place where nobody cared who or what I was moved smth in me. Like the inner Anthony Bourdain came out and I started living. Came back and asked myself a different question. Not what do I love but what can I get good at that pays decently and doesn't hollow me out by Wednesday. Landed on logistics coordination. Took a course, sent around 40 applications and got one callback. Two years in and I have more energy, more stability and more joy than I did when joy was the whole mission. Reminds me of that quote that goes, if you chase money you'll keep chasing money, do what you do best and money will follow. Applied that logic but with happiness and I did find my path.